Crazy Couple
by CatMuto
Summary: Basically, my BF and I join the group and are just our usual perverted selves. But I will try to keep the contents mostly for T.
1. Michael & Cat

**Cat: Welcome to the (long awaited) Crazy Couple! Muse is me! And my Sweetypie!  
Guardian Mikey: Hehe, take that, Lloyd! -flips Lloyd from Absolute Randomness off-  
Cat: .. Yeeeah. Whatever. I don't own anything! The stuff in italic and underlined is signlanguage.**

The Chosen's group, consisting out of the Usual Suspects - a.k.a. Lloyd Irving, Genius and Raine Sage,  
Collet Brunel and Kratos "Hot Damn!" Aurion - were crossing the desert of Sylvarant, towards the east,  
aiming for the Ossa Trail.  
That trail, once crossed, would bring them to their next destination - Izoold.  
The day was almost over and they soon had to think of building up camp, when Collet  
pointed forwards.  
"What's that?" she asked and everyone looked to where she was pointing.  
It was a mass of monsters all trying to get their pieces of some figures, who were doing their  
best to fend them off.  
"A damsel in distress." Kratos stated cooly. "With her own hero already with her."  
"They still look like they need help." Lloyd sighed and charged at the monsters, unsheathing his two swords.

"Thank you for helping us." the guy of the two said.  
He had darkbrown hair that looked almost black, the bangs falling him almost over his right eye,  
brown eyes.  
Some white tightfitting pants were stuck into a pair of brown, slightly worn off boots.  
On his right wrist was a metal bracelet, the other one obviously a handmade one with two  
different shades of blue, black and white strings.  
He was also wearing a cobaltblue, almost black looking, vest with white buttons, a  
black tankshirt underneath.  
He had a spear strapped around his back.  
"It was no problem at all." Lloyd grinned and extended a hand. "I'm Lloyd Irving."  
He turned to the group. "These are Collet - She's the Chosen of Mana, Genius and Raine - elves  
and good magic users; Raine-sensei is a healer, and Kratos - he's rather the silent type .."  
"I'm Michael." the guy introduced himself, then made a gesture towards the girl. "She's Cat."  
The girl smiled a bit and bowed.  
She had long brown hair, about down to the middle of her back, that looked lighter than it was.  
Her eyes were green, hidden behind rectangular shaped glasses.  
She was wearing a white woolen sweater with a black thin top underneath it and a long  
black skirt with black strap ankleboots.  
On her left wrist was a bracelet that also seemed handmade in white, pink, yellow and orange.  
"Nice to meet you." Lloyd grinned, everyone agreeing. Kratos just did his usual "hmpf".  
The two helped build up a campsite for the night.  
And when it was finished, they started to talk.  
"What about you?" Lloyd asked, looking at Cat. "You .. can't talk?"  
She started to move her hands, trying to explain.  
_I had an operation on my jaw and can't talk, yes._  
"Cause of beauty or necessary?"  
_Both, actually. But the wait is worth it.  
_"Um, Cat-san?" Collet asked.  
_Please don't call me Cat-san. Where I come from is a kitty litter that's called that.  
_"Oh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to say," Collet said and pointed at the other girl. "your mouth is bleeding."  
Cat put a finger to her mouth and opened her lips a bit, a blue plate visible.  
Indeed, there was blood dripping from the inside.  
_Oh for the love of Martel!!  
_Everyone was surprised that she could make a nice swear in signlanguage, when  
Michael handed her a handkerchief and she tried to stop the bleeding.

Lloyd looked pissed off.  
He wanted to train, but Kratos had told him no.  
"Ah, for Martel's Sanity, I need a sparring partner!" he finally sighed annoyed.  
Cat tipped on his shoulder and smirked, obviously meaning that she'd fight him.  
"No." Lloyd said blankly. "First of all, I can sense, that he" he pointed at Michael "would hurt me  
severly if I hurt you, second of all, I don't fight women. Third of all, you've got a skirt on."  
The girl gave him a disbelieving look and got up.  
She unhooked and unzipped the skirt on the side.  
Everyone stared.  
But it was useless, since, when the skirt finally came off, she was wearing  
some black hot pants.  
Calmly, she folded them up and put them into her bag and gave Lloyd another look.  
_No skirt, now get your well-toned ass up.  
_Reluctantly, Lloyd got up and the two stood across from each other some way away from  
the others.  
"I still don't hurt girls." Lloyd said, unsheathing his swords.  
Cat just smirked and grabbed behind her back, pulling three metal sticks out,  
those combining with easy clicks with each other.  
"Ah, that's too bad, Lloyd, cause" Michael said and Lloyd gasped as one end of the stick  
hit him in the lower part of his chest. "she hurts guys."  
Cat withdrew her weapon, smirking widely.  
Lloyd gasped for air, the hit hadn't been too hard, but it was the suddenness that had  
gotten him.  
So, after regaining some breath, he charged at her.  
It was a rather weird looking fight, since Cat was mostly dodging and avoiding.  
She even slid underneath him once or twice.  
In the end, though, Lloyd managed to knock her down and won.  
"Damn, you're fast." he gasped, sheathing his swords.  
"It's actually rather easy to defeat her faster." Kratos suddenly said.  
"Yeah?" Lloyd asked, glareing at Kratos. "I'd like to see you do that."  
_Whow, whow, whow, I can't fight Kratos-sama! He's my super duper Idol!  
Are you out of your mind? I won't raise my weapon against Kratos-sama!_  
Kratos got up and walked over to where the other two were.  
"You'd better be ready to fight." he warned her and unsheathed his sword.  
_Wow, long sword .. lean muscular figure .. gorgeous eyes .._  
She had no more time to adore him, since he attacked.  
Cat managed to dodge a few attacks, but finally got hit in the back and fell on the floor.  
"Ah! Kittykat!" Michael gasped and went over to her. "You okay, sweety?"  
She lifted her hands.  
_Yeah. Just my back is killing me. And I'm .. the usual.  
_Michael sighed relieved.

Cat was staring like mad at her watch.  
"Is .. something wrong?" Genius asked, worried about her bulging eyes.  
She counted off five seconds with her hand.  
_Banzai! The time is over! I can get this thing out of me!  
_She crawled over to Kratos and clasped her hands together, looking at him with starry eyes.  
".." was Kratos' reply.  
"What's she trying to do?" Lloyd asked.  
"She's asking him if he could take over the orthodental work of getting the plate out as well as the  
brackets and the glue off of her teeth." Michael answered, having had enough time to  
recognize Cat's sign- and bodylanguage.  
"Can he do that?"  
".. he's a mercenary, having been a soldier in the army." the other teenager wondered. "So, I guess  
he knows some doctor stuff etcetera."  
Kratos looked exhausted. "Even if I'd do it, I don't have the right equipment."  
Cat reached into a bag she had next to her, probably a wingpack since a lot of stuff was in there,  
and pulled out a full white chair with a tablet of orthodental tools.  
"I don't think you can decline now, Kratos-san." Genius muttered.  
Kratos sighed again and nodded finally.  
Cat gave him a white coat like doctors of all sorts have him.  
And when he had put it on, she got starry eyes and her fingers twitched like mad.  
"Yes, Kitty, he looks very hot in it." Michael calmed her down, guiding her to the chair. "Now sit down."  
The girl sat down, tying a papersheet around her neck for hygiene and all of that.  
Taking the tools into his hand, Kratos put also one of those mouththingies on that are for hygiene.  
"Open."  
Cat opened her mouth a bit, and immediately Kratos went to work.

"Don't swallow. Poisonious." Kratos said, having been that way all the procedure long.  
While the thing that made the glue for the brackets dissolve from her teeth, Cat kept  
oogling at Kratos.  
"Rinse."  
And the whole thing went on, until finally they were done.  
Cat sat up, a hand over her lips, opening her mouth widely, yawning, and gliding her tongue along her teeth.  
"Ah, no more rocks on my teeth .. no more overbite .." she muttered, her voice being rather deep for a girl,  
but it still sounded female. "Thank you, Kratos-sama!"  
She jumped off the chair, glomped Michael, him falling backwards onto his back, giving him a loooong kiss.  
Kratos shook his head slightly, taking the coat off, everyone else staring at the two kissers.  
Raine was so shocked she slapped her hand over Genius' eyes.  
When the kiss finally broke off, both gasped for air for a second.  
"Ahhh, that felt great." Cat sighed happily, sitting up. "Horray for making out!"  
"Did she just get a personality change?" Lloyd wondered.  
"She's always like this. Especially if she's been denied any sort of affection for a while."  
Cat grinned and sat up next to Michael.  
"Now, let's get this properly." she gave a victory sign. "I'm Cat, eighteen years old and a cancer-"  
"Cancer?" Kratos looked up.  
"Did someone you know die of Cancer, Kratos-san?" Collet asked.  
".. my wife .." Kratos muttered, his glare getting worse and darker by the second. "Whatever we did, it kept  
eating away her soul and flesh, until death was the only path for her .."  
"Oh, I'm so sorry."  
"I'm also a singer, an artist and pretty hooked on several things, like volleyball, archery, swordsmanship,  
running and so on and so on." Cat finished.  
"A singer?"  
"AND an artist?" Lloyd asked, frowning. "Is there something you don't do?"  
"Um .. I'm so unflexible, I can't dance at all."  
Michael ran his hand through Cat's hair and grinned.  
"Michael, I'm nineteen and an aquarius. I'm pretty good with computers and technics, a good artist  
and like to fiddle around on things."  
"Tucker!" Cat gasped, smirking.  
"Oops." Michael laughed embarrassed. "Not that way - well, yes, but no. And we've been a couple for  
about a year now."  
"Theoretically .. we've gotten together one day before valentine." Cat wondered. "But started to date  
about four months ago. Beforehand we weren't able to meet."  
Collet suddenly grabbed Cat's hand. "Pretty ring."  
Both grinned.  
"Congratulations." Kratos said cooly. "Although, kids these days, they all start too early .."  
"Yeah." Cat said, imitating an old man's voice. "Kids these days with their blueray-discs, and I-Pods,  
and McDonalds, and their Punk Rock-"  
Michael made her shut up by feeding her a grape.  
"But, yes, we're getting married. As soon as possible." Michael agreed, grinning widely.  
_What do you think of marriage, Lloyd?  
_"You're not quiet anymore, why use signlanguage?"  
_Cause it's fun!_  
Lloyd sighed. "Well .. once I meet the girl I wanna marry, I'll propose right away."  
"Kiiiiiiiiiiiids?"  
Lloyd blushed slightly. "Mh .. well .." he muttered, thinking about it. "Sure. Boy, Girl .. whatever. As  
long as the kid's healthy .."  
"Yahoo!" Cat cheered. "Gotta put that into a manga."  
"Eh? You draw mangas?" Genius asked, having long ago pried his sister's hands off.  
"Sure!"

"-awesome eyes and hair." Cat finished, everyone talking about their fetishes.  
"I like girls with glasses." Michael put an arm around Cat.  
Lloyd was the only one who wouldn't say what his fetish was.  
"Spill it." the girl grinned.  
"No!"  
She crawled behind him and started to lean on him, pulling his cheeks.  
"Spill! Spill! Spill!"  
That went on for a few seconds, until Lloyd threw her off, annoyed.  
"Ok, ok, I admit it, I have a fetish for big boobs!"  
"These?" Cat put her hands underneath her boobs and pushed them up.  
Michael "helped" with that.  
"Too small."  
Cat looked annoyed. "Compared to the A-Cup they were beforehand, I find that an insult!  
But yeah, they're just 80-B. Total average .."  
"I like them." Michael smiled, holding her boobs some more.  
"I know you do." Cat grinned and handed Lloyd a stack of papers.  
"What's that?" Lloyd asked, taking it. They were kept together by staplers at the top.  
"A manga revolving around you. And someone else." she grinned. "I guess she'll be your type."  
Lloyd's eyebrows lifted and he stared at the cover.  
"Pretty."  
He read the first few pages, then gasped. "This is a manga about sex!? And you drew that?  
Are you insane!?"  
"Yup." Cat laughed maniacally. "Knew it from kindergarten on, when my shizophrenic side stabbed  
another kid's hand with a pencil. By the way, _get blood on the manuscript and you'll DIE!!_"  
Lloyd sighed and shook his head, continued to read, looking actually rather desinterested.  
If his face hadn't been that red.

"My fingernails have gotten long." Cat noticed, looking at her left hand, the ring glinting  
on the index finger. (That IS where you put the engagement ring in america, right?)  
"Something you can stab my back with." Michael grinned.  
"Maybe I should paint them .."  
Lloyd handed the hentai manga back.  
"You like?" she asked, putting it back into the bag.  
"I've got three questions. One: Why are my hands tied up? Two: Why are we  
mostly dressed?"  
"And three?"  
"Who IS that chick? She's hot!"  
"One: Why not tie you up? You know how it is, men have this feeling of capturing-"  
"What?" Lloyd looked confused.  
"Or .. is conquest a better word for it? Anyway, they have that feeling and mostly it IS  
the man who's in charge. And women use handcuffs - or other material - to handicap the guy,  
which not only gives the woman a sadistic side and the guy a masochistic, if he likes getting 'owned'  
by a woman, but also gives her the feeling of being in charge."  
Lloyd's eyes went blank.  
"That's too high for him, Cat, don't bother." Raine sighed. "Use short sentences. Then he'll listen."  
"And you are still halfway dressed, cause FCS (Fully clothed sex) can be awesome."  
"Ookay .. I'll just assume you have expierence in that .."  
Cat and Michael just grinned.  
"And who's the woman?"  
"Not gonna tell."  
"You're such a bitch." Lloyd snapped, meaning it only a bit.  
"I know."

**Cat: **Yeah, short but it's funny.**  
Michael: **And, yes, there are gonna be a lot of sex or adultery things mentioned. Live with it!**  
Cat: **Or die angry.**  
Michael: **Please, review.


	2. That Chick is Shihna

**Cat: Now, there are gonna be Skits to this story up! Actually, I've been working  
on the Skits longer than the Story.  
Mikey: Of course, the Skits and Scenes happen during our Conversations on MSN,  
especially if the UST Level is high.  
Cat: Yeah .. We own nothing!**

"So, why won't you sing?" Lloyd asked, sneering.  
He was happy to get to tease Cat.  
"Why is it that people ALWAYS ask you to sing when you say you're a singer?"  
"Don't answer a question, with a question."  
"Hey, I'm curious."  
"Probably because they want to know how well you are at singing." Kratos answered.  
"Ah, well .. actually .." Cat's gaze went sideways and far away, her fingertips tipping each other. "I haven't  
sung in a microphone for two and a half years .."  
Michael knew what was going to come and held his ears closed.  
"_**Argh, that fucking bitch! How DARE she take away my place as the singer in the schoolband!? I swear,  
I should've bitch slapped her not only verbally, but physically! I was the singer in that fucking band  
for three years! Two years the only one!!**_"  
She kept on ranting about that bitch - it was a seventh grader in her school, when was in the last year (10th grade) -  
and finally looked close to tears.  
"It's all that fucking KFZ's fault!"  
Lloyd was holding his head, Cat's voice having been very loud.  
"Why?" Genius asked, shaking his head to get the ringing away.  
"On that day, I remember it was November, our class went to a KFZ-"  
"What's that?"  
"Um, well, it's a _Konzentrationslager_, .." she said, speaking german shortly. "It's .. sort of a Human Ranch.  
Except that the people there weren't taken for being tortured and getting Exspheres on them. It  
was sort of a capture camp for people who opposed _Hitler_."  
"And who the hell is that?" Lloyd wondered.  
Cat gave him a stack of papers that looked like she had scrunched them up on purpose.  
"Read those. From 6th grade on, _every_ year we learned about _Hitler_. Yeah, really great,  
for four years all we learn in history is about him .. stupid germans, should let go of it .."  
They had no idea what she was talking about and Lloyd refused to read the stacks of paper  
that were about thirty pages.  
"So you went to that camp." Kratos asked, slightly interested. "And then?"  
"Well, actually, 10th grade was allowed to go home for the day - around Noon - but I had schoolband  
and I really liked it there, so I went, although I was officially excused. And we tried a new song then,  
but I just couldn't sing into the microphone .." (_Btw, german High School leaves out at 1 p.m.)_  
"Maybe the visit to that camp shocked you?"  
"Hey, I read the stuff and watched a video where they showed corpses - I am a coldhearted bitch, that  
stuff didn't affect me."  
"It must've been subconsciously."  
"Hm, but I didn't quit. I kept coming to the practices .. but every time, I spent more time just standing  
at the door and watching them .." she said and finally broke down into tears.  
She flung herself into Michael's arms.  
"Aw, it's okay, Kitty .. It's over." he comforted her, stroking her back.  
"And then at the graduation ceremony, when the schoolband played, everyone waited for me to get  
up on stage .." she whined. ".. those bastards have no idea how that hurt .."  
"But you stayed. And it was good - you told me that girl couldn't hold the tune right."  
Cat broke the hug off and looked annoyed again.  
"God, yeah, she couldn't sing right! Neither 'Kids of America' nor 'Wake me up when September ends'!  
I should've run up on stage, kicked her out of the way and sing in her stead."  
"Why didn't you do it?"  
"Cause I'm totally introverted. Besides, I didn't know the lyrics that well."  
Everyone stared.  
"She has total mercury-moods .." Lloyd was stunned.

They continued their way to the Ossa Trail, getting there in very few hours.  
"Wait!" a voice came.  
They stopped and someone jumped from on top infront of them.  
She had a very good figure and black hair, wearing foreign clothes.  
"A virgin!" Cat called, pointing her finger at her.  
"W-what!?" the woman gasped.  
Lloyd frowned and stepped closer to her.  
"Hmmmmmm .." he went and, one hand scratching his chin, started to walk  
around her. "Hmmmm ..!"  
"W-what?" she asked. "Is something wrong? Never saw a woman before? Or is it because of what she said ..?"  
"Hmmmmmmm .." Lloyd stopped in front of her. "Actually, never saw a woman as well endowed as you,  
but that's not bothering me .."  
He frowned some more and snapped his fingers.  
"Excuse me .." he muttered and opened the ribbon that kept her hair up.  
It fell over her shoulders, just barely noticable waves at the ends.  
"Ah!!" Lloyd suddenly yelled like an announcer. "You're the chick that fucked me!!"  
"_**What!?**_" she yelled, beetred in the face.  
In the background, Cat was hiding behind Michael, trying to not laugh out loud.  
"Your name's .. uh .. uh .." Lloyd was trying to remember and turned to Cat. "Stop laughing and help!"  
Nobody helped, Cat trying to remain calm, Michael starting to get the laughs as well.  
"Urgh, alright, I'll try to remember myself!" Lloyd frowned, tapping a foot. "Gah, what was the name  
yelled on page 25 in the fourth panel ..?"  
The woman was completely shocked to do anything and just stared.  
"Shihna! That was it! You're Shihna! I think the introduction page said 'Fujibayashi (Aurion), Shihna, Age 21'."  
"Huh? Uh .. whatever you're talking about .." Shihna finally said. "I'm 19 .."  
"It's a fan-made manga, so it could be anytime after or before the current time."  
Shihna blushed more and finally cleared her throat intensly.  
She snatched the ribbon back from Lloyd and put her hair.  
"Anyway!! Is the Mana Chosen among you?"  
"Ah, it's me! I'm the Chosen." Collet said.  
Shihna stared in disbelief at Collet. "Seriously?"  
Cat and Michael held up several signs that point at Collet saying 'The 758. Chosen of Sylvarant'  
and 'The Real Chosen', 'Chosen Collet Brunel' and even one that said 'A.K.A. Klutz'.  
"Uh .. okay .. fine .." Shihna muttered. "Then I'll kill you!"  
She charged at Collet, who of course fell like always and knocked against a red lever.  
The lever moved and a trapdoor underneath Shihna opened, her finally falling down.  
"Oh no!" Collet gasped and crawled over to the trapdoor, almost slipping into it herself. "Are you okay?  
I'm so sorry!"  
"You know, you shouldn't be sorry for someone who tries to kill you." Cat said.  
"Still sorta bad .." Lloyd kneeled down next to the floor. "I hope she's alright. And the D-Cups .."  
Cat suddenly laughed.  
"What?"  
"Sorry, just remember how my mom and I always put my B-Cup sized Boobs into the talk when they got bigger."  
"I see .."

They started to cross the Trail, upwards and back downwards.  
On the way upwards, Cat lost her footing and fall onto her backside.  
"You okay, Sweety?" Michael asked, kneeling next to her.  
Cat bit her lips. "Fell on my hip."  
"Oh no!" Michael gasped and put his hand underneath her skirt to her hip. "Is it alright? That thing is  
very important for our future daughter!"  
"Are you feeling her up or checking?" Lloyd asked, frowning.  
"Both."  
"Ah .."  
After Michael was finished with feeling his girlfriend up - or checking if she was hurt, it was the same with  
him - he helped her up and they went on passing the Trail.  
Until Cat fell again, this time forwards.  
"Ow!" Cat cursed and slowly got up, holding her chest. "That hurt my B-Cups."  
"Are they still as soft as ever?" Michael asked.  
"Yep. Hot - temperature wise - too."  
And Cat slipped a third time, landing finally in something that resembled a sitting position.  
".. Are you doing that on purpose?" Lloyd finally asked, thrusting his hands into his pockets.  
"No."  
"Ok, then I'm gonna call you Collet II."  
"DON'T YOU DARE!!" Cat yelled at him, holding a dagger at his throat.  
"Uh-oh, you said the forbidden word." Michael gasped.

**Cat gained the title 'Collet II' - "No matter where you are, you trip just like her .."**

"Uh .. I'm sorry?" Lloyd asked.  
"There's only one way to calm her down now!"  
"And what's that?" Genius asked, starring at Cat who was stilling holding the dagger.  
Michael grabbed her, turned her head towards him and gave her a big smooch.  
When the smooch broke, Cat was snuggling up to him, looking very peaceful.  
The dagger got stowed away again and finally they went on, getting to the other side of  
the Trail.  
The day was almost over.  
Discussing wether they should stay at Izoold in the Inn, or camp outside because of the money,  
they stopped in their tracks when the wood wall next to them fell and Shihna was standing there.  
"W-wait!" she gasped for air.  
"Oh, thank Martel you're o-"  
"Don't move!" Shihna snapped at Collet who got closer. "This time, I'll get you!"  
She charged at them, summoning a big red bird.  
She was fast and strong - and beautiful, Cat sighed that several times while dodging the big bird -  
but she was also able to kick their asses.  
Lloyd got flung by one of the bird's clawed arm far away and he got up quickly, charging at Shihna.  
"Now, Shihna," Cat said, smirking. "quiver in fear as Lloyd's mighty sword penetrates your moist cocoon!"  
Everyone stopped dead in their activities. Even the bird turned it's feathered head and stared at her.  
".. Was that .." Lloyd said slowly, his brain catching up. "meant sexually?"  
"Actually, phallically, but-"  
"_Bist du komplett LaLa, oder was!?_" Lloyd yelled at her. (btw, that means are you completely insane?)  
"Whoow, Lloyd, did you just speak german to me?"  
"Yes, that was the language he chose to learn, as a extracurricular." Raine told her.  
During the whole wondering, Shihna got hit in the back of her head by Kratos, the former then disappearing  
in some smoke.  
"Is he good at it?" Cat asked.  
"Sort of .. he came to the first three lessons .. and then when grammar started, he disappeared and never  
went back."  
"It's boring .." Lloyd sighed.

And they went for Izoold, the little village close by and went into the Inn.  
Why the jump? Because the authoress was trying to fight a Writer's Block.  
"Ah, what a big group we have tonight." the owner, a friendly woman, said. "Let's see, I'm not sure if we  
have seven beds."  
"Actually, six will do." Cat said.  
They all wondered for a second and then Lloyd sighed.  
"Oh yeah. Should've figured it out beforehand. You two are so into each other, you'll sleep in the same bed."  
"Bingo!"  
"There's nothing to it, anway." Michael said. "Seeing as we're engaged. I'm making an honest woman outta her."  
Cat's eyes got shifty. "Yeah .. although I still don't care if I lie .."  
Night was still a long time away and they all entertained themselves, Lloyd polishing his swords,  
Genius and Kratos were reading stuff.  
Cat was sitting on a bed, watching F-Force, an 18+ anime, on her laptop.  
Michael was sitting behind her, watching with her. Each of them had one earphone in an ear.  
"Say, sweety," Michael said. "why do you always turn the sound off, when it gets to the _really_ good parts?"  
"Uh .. well .." she stuttered, looking rather red.  
Michael laughed to himself, happy that he could tease her.

Some time later, Kratos was lecturing Lloyd over some advanced swordsmantechnique,  
when Cat gave a whistle, pressing the Enterbutton to stop the anime.  
".. What?" Lloyd asked, curiousity getting the better from him.  
"Horray for Ash, he finally gets some action himself - not just looking up his comrades skirts. Or the girls getting tentacle raped."  
"And those skirts are extremely short, I take it?"  
"Of course they are!" Cat nodded. "And I love Asti-"  
"Just because she's cute, a half-elf (Genius and Refill flinched) and is going to screw Ash."  
"Come on .. she has nice boobs. Besides, half-elfs are hot!"  
They all remained quiet for a moment.  
"And that whole thing with Alicia was SO obvious!"  
From somewhere far, far, FAR Away they heard a desperate "ALICIAAA!!" cry.  
"Whatever, could you continue to play the video now?" Michael asked and Cat nodded. "And this time, keep the sound ON."  
"WHAT!?" Cat screeched. "You know what happens then!"  
Michael grinned.

The next morning, _don't worry, nothing bad happened in front of everyone_, (Michael in reality is crying out in  
grief over that right now)  
they all stared at what Cat had accomplished.  
"How did you do that?" Lloyd asked, flipping through the pages.  
"Mh? Oh, that." Cat laughed embarrassed, untieing a wide sash around her waist. "I sleepwalk."  
"More like sleep_draw_." Genius said, staring at the pictures.  
"Ah, that person looks like me!" Collet pointed to a person who's hair had been kept white, to show that it was a light color.  
Cat chuckled.  
"Glad you ask, Collet. _These_" she said, pulling out several stacks of paper. "are the characters of Tales of Symphonia - Genderswitch!,  
version 1.0!"  
They had no idea what she was talking about.  
She pulled from her bag something that looked like a Duel Disk (copyright Kaiba Corp.)  
and some stacks of paper.  
"Tales of Symphonia - Genderswitch! is exactly what it sounds like. It's the whole World Regeneration story, just everybody  
having the other gender."  
"So, I'm a chick and Collet's a stud?"  
"If you call THIS a stud." Cat rolled her eyes and put a paper on the Disk. (If you want to find out what they look like,  
read Genderswitch - The Storyformat will be online soon)  
"This is Kotaro Brunel." Cat said. "Collet's counterpart. He's a ditz and trips too, he's very kind and  
.. well, he's just basically Collet with a dick."  
"Ew, horrible thought approaching .." Lloyd muttered to himself, looking thoughroughly disgusted.  
"Oh and the Chakrams are .. here." Cat grabbed the vest and lifted them sideways.  
On the inside were little latches that held some metal chakrams with spikes on them.  
"It's pretty loud when he moves. Next!"  
"Lemme guess. That's me?" Lloyd said.  
"Yup."  
".. Seeing as how you're a pervert, I thought you'd give the female me bigger boobs."  
"Hehe, you have NO idea. Little Miss Laura here, comes perfectly after her Mom."  
Cat undid the belts that held the swords up, and the leather wrap.  
Now 'Laura' was wearing a thick leathered tanktop.  
Cat unzipped that. (Yes, this all makes no sense, seeing as they're hologramms, but whatever. Everything is possible in an FF.)  
A black tanktop was underneath that and Cat's hand disappeared underneath that.  
"Mh .. where was the tied part .."  
She found it and pulled something out, it was a rolled out bandage.  
And Laura suddenly had boobs that were almost a D-Cup.  
"Ok, that's your kind of drawing alright."  
Next shown was Refill, Raine's counterpart (pronounched Re-firu, Not Rifiru, how SHE was pronounced in japanese)  
the hair covering the ears of course and wearing glasses, and then Genius.  
"Her full name is Ginevra Kley Sage." Cat announced. "Hehe, she hates her name, so she just gets called Ginni."  
"Let me guess - this character is cute?"  
"When it's to her advantage."  
Cat gave a great big sigh.  
"You know, it's really hard to make Kratos-sama into a woman."  
"I can imagine that." Kratos muttered, not really watching the whole presentation.  
"What I mean is .." Cat looked for the right words.  
"He's such a god full of testosterone that it's hard to turn that into estrogen." Michael helped.  
"Yeah .. Same thing with Lloyd."  
"Huh?" Lloyd wondered.  
Cat gave a rage cry and started to choke him playfully.  
"I have about _fifteen_ different versions of you as a girl and I'm STILL not satisfied with the Laura I have now!!"  
"Gragh, then why did you start drawing the manga?"  
"I had to start .." Cat put several papers onto the disk. "This was the first 'Karen Aurion' version."  
The woman hologramm was well endowed, wearing a suit that was almost identical to Kratos', just without  
the lightblue strip width wise over the chest, her hair was short and wild.  
"Then this .."  
The woman this time had the identical same suit as Kratos, just with shorter gloves and the cape's  
usual swallow-tail had been sewn together.  
"And this .."  
The hair was much longer and looked silkier, but the bangs were wilder than before and she  
had wider belts that had white strips on the side of it.  
"That version was pretty often used, but then I changed it .. well, the suit a bit. I even have a short version."  
The next version was with short pants and the boots  
pretty high, up to her thighs, the gloves similiar, the part of the suit around her throat was open.  
Cat sighed again. "But I still haven't given her enough SA."  
"SA?"  
"Sex Appeal. She's supposed to be like .. Like Alexiel from Angel Sanctuary! That's the voice I imagined her to have."  
"My voice?" Genius asked. (_A/N: Orikawa Ai is Genius' synchroniser, as well as Alexiel's in the Angel Sanctuary OVA_)  
"Yeah .. just, you know, deeper. But I pretty much know how I'm gonna draw Mr. Anna."  
"Who?"  
"Anna?"  
"Who??" Lloyd asked.  
"My - dead - wife."  
"The one you lost because of cancer?" Collet asked.  
"I only had one wife." Kratos resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

They were in Haima.  
"Why did you drag us to Haima?" Lloyd asked. "Why did you make us go NORTH, when Remiel said the next Seal is EAST!?"  
Cat got a big wooden hammer and hit the back of Lloyd's head with it, the latter going to the ground.  
He got up a few seconds.  
"Ow, where are we?" he asked, rubbing his head.  
"Haima."  
"Why did we go here?"  
"Uh .." Cat muttered. "N-Noishe ran off to here."  
Lloyd seemed to be satisfied with that answer and spotted Shihna a little way away with a young woman.  
"So, I can't help Pietro without the Book?" she muttered.  
"Well, I did hear that it's in the Tower of Mana, but that's been locked." the woman said.  
"Hey, Sophie, Luin's Martelchurch is responible for the Tower, right?"  
"Yes." Sophie nodded.  
"You need help?" Collet asked, butting in without feeling weird about it.  
Sophie and Shihna jumped about a foot.  
"Where the Devil did you come from?" Shihna asked.  
"From there." Collet pointed back to the others, who were slowly catching up. "It sounded like you needed help for saving someone."  
"Ah, you're friends?" Sophie asked.  
"No-"  
"Yes, we are!" Collet guiltlessly interuppted Shihna.  
Shihna glared at her.  
"Since when!? Leave me alone, I can do it on my own!" She snapped at her and left.  
"Shihna-chaaan .." Cat sighed. "You've gotta stay, I need a pretty woman with big boobs around, I can't stand Ironboard Collet  
and C-Cup Raine."  
"Actually, aren't **I** supposed to say that? Seeing as how I'm a guy ..?" Lloyd wondered to himself, but shut up.  
Shihna ignored her and was gone in a jiffy.  
So, Sophie told them about Pietro, someone who had fled the Asgard Ranch and Shihna had helped him, wanting to save him.  
Because he was pretty much a wreck of death.  
"So, if we get this book of Boltman, we'll be able to save him?" Collet asked, glad to help.

After Sophie told them all she knew, which was what they had heard her say to Shihna,  
they left for Luin.  
Lloyd stopped dead in his tracks when they entered the city.  
"What's wrong?" Raine asked.  
".. This city .. feels familiar." he mumbled.  
"Of course, your Mother came from here." Cat said.  
"And you have been born here as well. As did your father." Michael added.  
"How do YOU know that?" Lloyd asked.  
"Internet." Michael answered.  
"What's the In-"  
"Magic."  
"And how-"  
"It's just there."  
"Stop In-"  
"Teruppting you? Hell no, it's too much-"  
"Fun?" Lloyd snapped back at Michael, who just grinned.  
Lloyd was much more excited about checking out the city now, seeing how his mother was born here.  
Hell knows why he believed those two.  
Of course, Luin wasn't very big and him running ahead, he saw Shihna come out of the Chapel of Luin.  
A group of kids immediately ran towards her.  
"Shihna!"  
"Hey, Shihna, play with us!"  
They all crowded around her legs.  
She finally bent down a bit. "Okay, okay, I'll play with you. What shall we play?"  
"Hide-and-Seek!" they all called in unison. "You look for us!"  
Shihna nodded and the kids ran off.  
That's when she noticed Lloyd.  
".. Hi." was what Lloyd finally said, waving a bit. ".. that was .. kinda cute of you .."  
Shihna just glared at him and gracefully left, looking for the kids.  
".. What?" Lloyd said, the others finally catching up. "Why is she ignoring me?"  
"Maybe she's angry at you for shouting 'You are the chick that fucked me' at her?" Michael suggested.  
Lloyd didn't seem to listen, just scratched his chin and looked after her.  
"She's pretty good with kids .." he muttered and licked his lips slightly.  
"Ah!" Cat gasped and Michael joined. "You're having dirty thoughts!"  
Lloyd jumped a foot.  
"I-I am Not!" he protested.

**Cat: Seeing how Mikey wanted the chapter up soon, I'm putting it up now.  
Michael: I like that scene you wrote on MSN.  
Cat: Which one? I put half the chapter in.  
Michael: The one you want to put after we find out about Kratos.  
Cat: Oh, yeah .. Hehe, poor Lloydie.  
Michael: Review??**


	3. Balacruf

**Cat: Ok, we had a fight yesterday ..  
Mikey: But we got over it.  
Cat: But I'm still angsting .. Maybe I should just .. put my music really loud to keep myself from thinking.  
Mikey: You do that, sweety. We own nothing!**

"For the last time, I am NOT thinking about doing something nasty to Shihna." Lloyd said, beetred in the face. "Now,  
we should ask the people from the Church for the key to the Tower, right?"  
"Seeing as you saw Shihna come out of the Chapel, she probably got the key already." Michael suggested.  
".. But I didn't see her with a key anywhere."  
"She probably has it next to her Exsphere."  
"She's wearing an Exsphere?!" Genius gasped. "Where is it?"  
"Below her left breast-I mean next to her heart." Cat stuttered, getting the wanted reaction from Lloyd.  
Him getting even redder in the face.  
"You're making that up." he gasped.  
"Nope. She says so herself in this Under-the-Cover-Manga." Cat showed him the official Tales of Symphonia Manga,  
underneath the cover was a little comic where everyone said where their exspheres were.  
(Btw, Regal's are underneath his handcuffs and Raine's is on her right thigh - a lot of Fans are now Screaming  
"Why do we care where REGAL's Expshere is!?")

Lloyd pretended to not care if Shihna had a jewel stuffed underneath her left D-Cupped Breast,  
but just looked at Michael and Cat.  
"Ok, since you two seem to know that my whole family's been born here - I take it you got that from the 'Internet'?"  
"Yup." Michael answered.  
"So .. you know who my father is?" Lloyd asked, not realizing that Kratos looked slightly pale when the two nodded. "Who is it?"  
They both pointed at Kratos.  
Lloyd just looked at Kratos in a desinterested way.  
"Aha." he said and turned back around.  
Silence ....  
"Lloyd, you finally found out who your real father is!" Collet smiled, clapping her hands and jumping up and down. "Isn't that great?"  
"I actually thought you'd do a .. what's that Dude's name .. You know," Cat turned to her Bf. "the one with the 'No .. it's not true! That's  
Impossible!' 'Search your feelings, you know it to be true'."  
"Luke Skywalker."  
"Yeah." Cat sighed. "I mean, we just spoiled a HUGE PLOTTWIST and this could change the whole outcome of how Kratos and Lloyd  
get lots of OyakoScenes."  
They had no idea who or what she meant.  
"But I sure expected _some_ reaction." Genius shook his head.  
Lloyd gave a deep sigh.  
"You're a fangirl." he looked at Cat, who nodded. "And you're .. well, not really a Fanboy, but sort of."  
Michael nodded, too.  
"And according to Fanboys and -girls, my family is bigger than Collet's."  
They wondered what he meant.  
Lloyd started to count on his fingers off.  
"According to Fangirls, I have 758 Sister. About 400 of those are younger - about 120 are secretly in love with me ("Guilty!" Cat grinned),  
20 told me they loved me, and perhaps 5 of those have an incest relationship with me. The rest of the younger sisters are  
either Half-Sisters or Sisters-by-Adoption. Then, I also have 156 Twinsisters, who look like me - which is actually not  
very possible through genetics if we are binovular. Because if we were uniovular, they'd probably be boys, too. And also,  
I seem to have 202 Oldersisters, some of THOSE having deep feelings for or relationsships with me."  
He took another deep breath.  
"And I also have about 395 Brothers I don't know about. Mostly they are my Twinbrothers, lost when my mother died - or kidnapped - or  
taken by my father - who seems to be made up from several people, them having so many ideas who it is, to whereever he is.  
Which reminds me, I also saw pictures of my 'mother' with long hair, short hair, curly hair, straight hair, wavy hair, dark, blond, mixture color,  
etc - you name it, my mom looks like it apparently."  
They all stared, at how Lloyd knew that.  
Raine was especially happy to hear that he knew the words binovular and uniovular.  
Lloyd finally rolled his eyes. "And you said Guilty, so that means you gave me a sister."  
Cat nodded.  
"Lemme guess: Younger, looks like my Dad, since I apparently come after my mom - Dirk told me so. She has a crush on me and  
is clingy."  
"Uh .. sorta. She has your mom's eyes - which I made blue this time - and your Dad's auburn haircolor. It used to be straight, but I made  
it slightly curly. And .. well, here."  
Cat rolled out a poster.  
On it was a girl of about thirteen to fifteen years old, auburn hair slightly curled at the ends. She was wearing black short gloves,  
a darkblue blouse made out of denim, the sleeves curled up over her elbows underneath that a white tanktop,  
black hot pants and black ankle boots.  
".. And ..?" Lloyd asked, knowing there is a 'And'.  
"Well, you dream of having sex with her, after Zelos spilled the beans of how she's in love with you."  
"Who's Zelos?" Collet asked.  
"Oops, wrong world."  
"I knew it." Lloyd rolled his eyes. "What about my 'father'?"  
"She killed him off." Michael said. "In the first chapter, before everything happened."  
Cat burst into tears.  
"I almost couldn't do it! He's just SUCH a sexgod - I mean I am SO SURE he made you on the first time with Anna-sama,  
and has such charisma and his voice, and his hair, the eyes glareing at you down with a fire, the muscles on his arms  
and legs well defined, the broad shoulders a big contrast to the slender hip-"  
Michael knocked her unconscious and lifted her into his arms.  
"Sorry about that. She never shuts up about that subject."  
"It sounded like she was talking about Kratos-san." Genius mentioned.

Lloyd still said that they should go to the Chapel, in case Shihna did not get the key to the Tower of Mana.  
When they asked the Priest there, though, he said that a woman had already asked for it.  
"See?" Michael said. "It's obvious that she took the key already. Isn't one of the sayings of Martel's 'Never hesitate  
about your plans'?"  
"No." Genius answered, knowing them by heart.  
"Oh." and he changed his grip a bit, Cat in his arms. "Whatever. Her sayings are about Travelling, so she's probably gone by now."  
"Or she's still playing with those kids .."  
"Speaking of kids!"  
They all jumped a foot when Cat regained consciousness and jumped onto Lloyd's back, clinging.  
"You want a son, dontcha?"  
"What!? Didn't I say just a few days ago - Boy, Girl doesn't matter as long as it's healthy? And when did you regain consciousness?"  
"Shortly after he knocked me down." Cat grinned.  
"I noticed." Michael nodded. "She just enjoyed me carrying her."  
Cat grinned. "It's comfy and warm - and why the HECK am I thinking of Nightshift Nurse now?"  
"Because you are a pervert, that's why." Lloyd answered.  
"You know Nightshift Nurse?"  
"A bit .." Lloyd tried to avoid the answer.  
"You know .. Nightshift Nurse Kranke?"  
".. A bit .."  
"In Hikaru's Blender were .."  
"Yoghurt, Honey, Water and Cum, before _everything_ gushed out." Lloyd's answer came quick, swift and correct. ".. Oops .."  
"Hehehehe .." Cat grinned. "You perv."  
"I never said I LIKED what Hirasaka did with Hikaru's backside!"  
"Yeah, she's not your type, anyway. Too small her boobs are, riiiiight?"  
"Yeah, whatever .." Lloyd said, avoiding anyone's gaze.

Outside, Shihna was really still playing with those kids.  
"She's gonna be a great mother someday .." Lloyd muttered, feeling Cat's and Michael's grinning gazes on him. "Can I say  
stuff like that, with_out_ anyone thinking ahead of me?"  
"No."  
"Dammit .."  
Wondering where to go next, seeing as they had gone North and not East where the next Seal was, they discussed the matter.  
"Maybe we should go to Asgard." Cat suggested.  
"But that's a big side-track for the Jou-" Raine started.  
"There's a ruine slate of Cleo III." Michael said.  
"Let's go there, _RIGHT NOW_!" and Raine ran ahead.

And since Lloyd, Collet and Genius knew how SCARY Raine could be when she was like that,  
they went to Asgard.  
Because that's what people do when they're scared. They go to Asgard! (According to the Kanji, it's actually called Ascard ..)  
Raine immediately ran upwards to the stoneplate, the others slowly catching up.  
"Lloyd! Tell me the history of the stoneplate." she ordered him.  
"Eh ...."  
"Damian and Selma, two people who were in the group of the first Chosen Spiritua, were gay and lived in Asgard. When the  
fake summonspirit of Wind killed Damian, Selma used his life to seal it inside the stoneplate."  
They all stared at her.  
".. This isn't fanfiction, sweety." Michael whispered.  
"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. F!!" Raine yelled and stamped a red big F letter onto her cheek.  
She then started to tell the REAL story of the stoneplate and Lloyd, not wanting to learn, went behind it.  
Insert scene where Raine kicks ass of a half-elf and a wimpy expeditioner and Lloyd disfuses a bomb.  
What a guy! (Some readers are now laughing)  
Raine followed the half-elf guy and the wimpy expeditioner to continue to kick their asses.  
"Listen you two idi-What's wrong?" she asked, seeing a beautiful .. well, handsome woman between them.  
She looked ridiculiously like the expeditioner. (She was introduced as Ayla, her brother as Linar and the half-elf as Harley)  
"So, let me get this straight." Lloyd sighed after they heard the story. "Just because a scientist couldn't keep his greedy  
hands off a stoneplate, the monster inside awakened and now wants to eat out Ayla."  
"Lloyd .. eating out means to go down on someone." Michael sighed and Lloyd turned brightred.  
"I-I-I-I meant eat UP Ayla, eat UP!" he quickly stuttered.  
"Don't diss the science!" Raine yelled at him and smacked him. Smacked him again for saying something dirty.

So then, Raine insisted to the Mayor of Asgard that she'd do the danceritual instead.  
"You just wanna inspect the stoneplate."  
SMACK, for Lloyd again.  
"Lloyd, there are times in your life where you should just keep your mouth closed." Kratos suggested and they all  
waited outside of Ayla's and Linar's house while Raine was changing into the ritual clothes.  
When she came out, she finished dressing.  
Cat sighed.  
"Personally, I would've put more jewelry on and not that clothes at all. Perhaps a half-transparent dress with veils and  
such. Seeing as it's a WINDspirit, something that'll flow after you while dancing .."

Which of course didn't help, since the dance ritual was not really a DANCE.  
Raine just went around in a circle, hitting the pattern with her rod.  
A purple monster with an axe at the bottom appeared.  
"That's not the windspirit!" Collet gasped.  
"Sort of OBVIOUS." Michael sighed, grabbing his spear. "Let's do this thang and kill it!"  
So, they killed the monster.  
Raine picked up a card the monster had dropped.  
"I don't wanna know where it kept that." Cat said and her moby started to ring.  
It was 'Elevator' by Flo Rida.  
"_She's stuck on my Ela-E-Ela-vator!_" she sang before she answered it. "Heeey, Cat it is!"  
She listened.  
"Sage! Yeah, about that question .." she said and talked for a bit. "What? Seriously? .. Oh well, POOR Mithos, right?  
I mean, he's so sure that his big sis was a virgin - hehe, he's SO wrong."  
A few minutes later, Raine ran off with Linar to find out what the stone card said.  
She looked disgusted.  
"Wahaaaa!" she cried and threw herself into her Bfs arms.  
"What is it, sweety?"  
"In that story, it's gonna be .. urgh .." she stuttered and then blurted it out. "Sex."  
"But you love sex." Michael protested.  
"Apparently." Lloyd agreed. "She talks about it most of the time."  
Cat looked horrified.  
"But not when it's you and Blondie doing it!"  
"What!? M-m-m-m-m-me and C-c-c-c-collet!?" he stuttered, got red and looked surprised as he never was.  
A second later, Cat gasped.  
"Oh no, I just spoiled! .. hey, I didn't say WHICH story!" she sighed happily.  
"I don't know what story you're talking about. But it's ok. You don't HAVE to read that part." Michael calmed her down.

He managed to calm her down and they spent the night in one of the many many Inns in Asgard.  
The next morning, Collet woke them up with some news.  
"Sensei isn't back yet."  
"Ahaaaaaaa." Cat said in a suggestive way.  
"_Don't_ say it."  
"Sensei and that Wimp?" Michael asked. "Never!"  
"Dammit!" Lloyd cursed, getting THOSE thoughts of his TEACHER.  
"Hey, **I** didn't say it!" Cat grinned.  
So, they went to Ayla's and Linar's house.  
Actually, Lloyd stayed far back.  
"I do care what I'm gonna see, I do care what I'm gonna see, I do care what I'm gonna see, I do, I do, I **do**!"  
"Get over yourself, Lloyd. There's nothing to see." Cat said and pulled him into the house.  
"Now, that Raine is ONE woman!" Linar said excited.  
"Argh!! Mental images scarring my brain!!" Lloyd yelled.  
"Not like that!" Linar said getting red. "No, I mean, she was great at descipering what the card said."

And next thing you know, they were at the Balacruf Graves.  
Yeah, that's what they actually are. Mausoleum looks so german, and I'm used to english now, so I write grave.  
"What's with the peculiar voice?" Lloyd asked.  
"Just me ranting on my thoughts on the keyboard in front of the computer."  
"You're what-ing your thoughts on the what in front of the what?"  
"It's all part of the Internet." Michael explained.  
"Oh, ok."  
Raine carefully wiped down the plate of the Grave and set the Card in.  
And an Oraclestone appeared!  
Cat played the Legend of Zelda Music you get when you open a chest or receive a new item.  
Collet put her hand on it and they entered.  
A strong wind blew inside.  
"Man, am I glad I'm not wearing a skirt."  
"You are wearing a skirt, honey." Michael sighed.  
"Oh .. well, at least it's not short!"  
Michael looked very sad about that.  
Further inside, they stared at the spikes come from underneath or the sides.  
"This .. is a grave, right?" Lloyd asked.  
"Yes."  
"Then why the F-ing sake are there TRAPS here!?"  
"To keep graverobbers out."  
They continued to walk on, until they entered a room with a fan puzzle.  
Someone entered the Grave just then.  
"Ok, so, if the traps are to keep graverobbers out, why is there a trap HERE, too!?"  
"To keep graverobbers out, who made it THIS far."  
"O .. kay .." Lloyd sighed.  
They solved the puzzle and Cat lagged behind, looking around.  
"What?" Lloyd asked.  
"Chapuraaaa .." she sighed.  
"Huh?"  
"Chapura. Priestess of Wind she made for the old version of Seraphim Phenomenon." Michael explained.  
"Of what?"  
"Oh, sorry, it's more known under the name 'Cruxis' Seraphim'."  
"Huh?"  
"Oh shit, forget what I said." Michael said and hugged his GF. "Sweety, come on, we gotta go."  
"Chapuraaaaaaaaaaa .. she was so cute .."

**Cat: Hehe, yeah, it took me forever to write the last part.  
Michael: I keep forcing her to write.  
Cat: Yup .. I'm better at being random in Whackphonia.  
Michael: Because Shihna already entered.  
Cat: Yeah .. gawd, she's hawt ..  
Michael: ..  
Cat: You're hot, too. You just don't have 95.8 cms of chesticles.  
Michael: .. Whatever.**


	4. Against the Rules!

**Michael: You take forever to write these chapters ..  
Cat: Yeah .. somehow, Whackphonia gets easier off my fingers ..  
Michael: And what about those Shihloyd One Shots?  
Cat: .. Oh, yes, I'm doing the third one right now .. which reminds me, I should do the One Shot Anthologies, too.**

They killed the bird guardian ToS OVA style,  
Cat muttering how hard that freaking bird was when you were underleveled and playing on Mania.  
Yadda yadda yadda while Remiel appeared.  
"This is so boring .." Cat mumbled.  
"Yeah, making out makes even more sense than this shit .."  
"Quiet!" Kratos hissed to the two and they immediately shut up.  
They were quiet for a while, until Collet was finished and she mumbled on about becoming a true angel.  
"Why would you want to become a true angel?" Cat suddenly asked.  
"Otherwise, the world won't be regenerated." Raine said in a 'DUH!' voice.  
"Yeah, but .. No eating, no Sleeping, no Feeling, no Talking, no other bodily functions and then - like Lloyd said - you  
have to cut holes into your clothes to get the wings through."  
"Plus you get lied to and get dominated by a blond faggot." Michael agreed.  
".. Internet?"  
"Yup."

They went through the rooms with the annoying puzzles and were about to leave, when-  
"WAIT!!"  
"That voice .." Lloyd said and turned around, seeing her, he looked happy. "Shihna!"  
She stopped dead in her tracks, slipping on the last step.  
About to fall, Lloyd was ready to rush out and catch her, but she had a great sense of balance and with some elegant  
moves, she kept herself on her feet.  
"Now, I was going to say-" she stopped and frowned. "Hey, wasn't there, like, another one of you?"  
They didn't know what she meant.  
"You know, girl with glasses?" Shihna asked and blinked when she felt someone behind her. "Who-!?"  
"Shiiiiihnaaaaa!" Cat cheered and jumped on Shihna's back, her hands on .. the latter's chest. "Whow, these are **really** big!"  
They all stared - Michael just grinned - while Cat's hands were still busy.  
"Hey, I'd love to have them this big."  
"Sweety, you know I love your size. They're perfect - a good handful." Michael protested. "Plus, you're pretty sensitive with them."  
"Yeah, yeah .." Cat said, blushing a bit.  
Shihna wasn't moving one bit, still shocked over someone jumping her back and starting to grope her.  
"Yeah, but you know, Shihna, I TOTALLY know ALL the disadvantages of having big boobs."  
"They're heavy, you get stared at, finding bras - or any clothing - in the right size is hard or sometimes impossible,  
people will think you're sexcrazy and other women might be envious of you getting the attention."  
They all stared at Lloyd.  
"Whooow, Lloyd, you read Futari H! ?"  
"Like any other teenager."  
"Uh .. sorry to break it to you, Lloyd-kun," Cat said and even stopped massaging Shihna's breasts. "but in my School?  
Yeah, I was the only one reading it."  
".. Dammit .." Lloyd muttered, knowing that he made another point in him being like a pervert.  
Shihna, FINALLY getting back to her senses, grabbed Cat and flung her over to them.  
Michael caught her.  
Actually, he caught her and then lost his footing and she landed on top of him.  
".. I know you love it when you're in charge." he smirked.  
"Ah, well, comes from loving to be dominant."  
Everybody else glared at them - aside from Collet and Genius, and they broke apart.  
Both looked VERY unhappy about that.  
"Anyway, can I fight you guys now!?" Shihna snapped.  
".. You can do something else starting with F with me." Lloyd grinned and Cat and Michael wolfwhistled to that.

They were about to fight when Cat stopped them, although they all had their weapons drawn.  
"Can I do a quick statement on 'F-Force'?" she asked.  
A few seconds of silence and they all relaxed their positions. "Okay."  
"Alright .." she took a deep breath. "F-Force is one of the WORST Hentais I've ever seen!"  
"seeing as how you watch about one episode of hentai per day." Michael said.  
"And, of course, you always keep the sound on." Lloyd agreed, being sarcastic.  
".. You told .." Cat glared at her BF. "be prepared to get smothered in chocolate sauce and get licked off."  
"Ok, I'll buy the chocolate sauce." Michael made a note for that.  
"Now .. The colors were too fucking bright - and why does the heroine have PINK hair!? AND her name is Alicia-"  
"What's so special about that?"  
".... You'll find out later." the couple quickly said.

"And most of the hentai was tentacle rape."  
"Which can be nice in moderation, right?"  
".. Yeah. Hang on, you know F-Force, Lloyd?" the boy quickly shook his head. "Ok and, yeah,  
Ash gets to look up his girl comrades EXTREMELY short skirts."  
"Which you never wear .." Michael sighed deeply.  
".. but for that I wear a corsette." Michael looked happy again, agreeing. "And can somebody tell me .."  
She walked over to Lloyd and took out a live sized action figure of Kvar.  
Kratos immediately stabbed it.  
They all stared.  
".. Reflex."  
"No, actually, that was PERFECT, Kratos-sama." Cat said. "See, if YOU stab someone through the chest and they DIE.  
Right?"  
"That would be the normal reaction, yes." Raine said, nodding.  
"Ok, now, this person is DEAD for, like, 5 minutes or more, alright?"  
She lay the Kvarfigure down on the floor.  
"And now, a Girl with a Demon inside of her starts to fuck him."  
Lloyd and Kratos looked EXTREMELY sick to the thought of that.  
"Sorry for the mental images. Now, HOW can that person get back to live by having sex?" they had no answer to that.  
"And WHAT WOMAN COMES LIKE A FUCKING FOUNTAIN OF WATER!?"

".. Extremely wet women?" Lloyd asked and got smacked from Raine for that.  
".. whatever. And then they use their super special awesome attack on the bad guys, ok? How can a girl with  
a DEMON inside of her get ANGEL wings!? THAT MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS SHIHNA NOT FUCKING LLOYD THIS VERY MINUTE!!!!"  
"Rewind that last part for me!?" Shihna snapped and took a guardian out, a big blue bird.  
"Sorry, my phantasy is going through with me .."  
Lloyd rolled his eyes, though he CLEARLY liked the idea.  
"Look, that is a B rated Hentai. Of course there are flaws and besides, I thought it was about the Sex?"  
"Well, yeah .. although I HATE Alicia!"  
Michael sighed, patting her shoulder. "You hate every main heroine."  
"True. Mint, Collet, Farah - god she's ugly, Martha, Collet, Mint, Collet-"  
"You hate Collet? Why?"  
".. I have no Idea, I'll come back with an answer later."  
Shihna got really pissed off for being ignored and finally disappeared.

Outside they went and Colet tripped, making Lloyd trip, too.  
On top of each other.  
"Iiiiiyaaagh, Colloyd! Colloyd!" Cat screached like one of those women in horror movies. "It buuuurns!!"  
She ran away into a distance.  
When Lloyd got off Collet, who just looked surprised but said she felt dizzy,  
they caught up with Cat.  
Who had prepared dinner and a camp already.  
"Hehe, dinner is .. Spaghetti with TOMATO sauce!"  
Kratos and Lloyd looked horrified.  
Kratos tried to look calm and sat down, while Cat chased Lloyd around with a tomato in her hand.  
"Nooo! Tomato Equals EVIL!!" he yelled and finally ..  
he glomped Kratos, clinging to him like it was about life and death.  
"Help me, Papa!!"  
They all stared for a moment, then Kratos patted Lloyd on the back.  
"It's okay, Lloyd, Cat is going to put the tomato away now - _or I will have to HURT her severely_!" he hissed.

Cat put the tomato away and they ate.  
Lloyd took a breath and gulped down a big chunk of milk.  
"Godess, this is SPICY!"  
"Yeah, as spicy as my stepdad used to make the chili .. way to fucking spicy .." Cat mumbled.  
Lloyd stared transfixed to Collet.  
"Collet? How can you eat that without needing milk ..?" he asked and something clicked. "OMG, YOU CAN'T TASTE ANYTHING!!"  
Collet looked up.  
"What? No, I just .. uh .. well .. I .. uh I .. I'm able to eat this without milk, is all?"  
Lloyd took some steaming hot coffee "Sorry, Collet, I gotta know" and he poured it over Collet's hand.  
She didn't even flinch.  
".. YOU CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING, TOO!"  
Michael frowned.  
"Hey .."  
"Isn't this, like, the second seal?" Cat asked.  
A little silence.  
"Did she just lose two senses in one seal?" she asked.  
"Yeah." Michael said and then grinned. "So?"  
"That's against the script, isn't it?" They all grabbed out a brown book labeled 'Script'.  
"Screw the script, we're fanfiction!" Michael glared and Cat laughed so hard she choked on her food.

The next morning, they went to the north, the Tower of Mana.  
"Why are we going here? It's a Seal, yeah - but don't we need a key? Oh yeah, Shihna has that .." Lloyd ranted on to himself.  
"Shihna .. I want that well endowed body in sight .." Cat sighed.  
"You're not the only one .." Lloyd and Michael said in synch and Michael grinned at Lloyd.  
"Aren't you being unfaithful to your GF right now?" Lloyd asked.  
"_Because Hee knows I'm Unfaaaaiithfuuul_!" Cat sang out - way off key.  
Michael stuck two fingers into her mouth, which she started to suck on.  
"I actually meant YOU being the one who was missing Shihina, too. And I was right."  
"Ah .."  
They entered and saw .. Shihna!  
"Funny how we always meet, mh?" Lloyd asked, his voice going deeper and a glint in his eyes. ".. Or just an addicted writer."  
"Oh dear, his sexual instincts are awakening - and his flirt senses .." Cat sighed.  
"Alright, we're contagious!" Michael highfived with Cat.  
Shihna blushed and put a book back.  
"Look, I'm not following you or so - I'm just searching for Boltman's Book."  
"To help Pietro-san, right?" Collet asked and got silenced by Cat with an apple.  
Shihna blushed some more and left, getting close to Lloyd.  
"Mhh .. no perfume." he said. "But nice smell about her, either way."  
".. You start to remind me of the Lloyd in Whackphonia."  
"Where?"  
Cat shook her head and they decided that she, Michael and Genius would wait on the circles for the others  
to do the seal.  
The others left - Cat looking sad on "No Eye-Candy" being around - and the others  
stepped up several loooooooooooooooooong stairs.  
"I hate stairs, I hate stairs, I hate stairs .." Cat muttered.

They met up at the door to the altar and the others stood back  
while Collet got the angel blessing from Remiel again.  
"You know, Remielle - his female version - somehow got to look very pretty, young and .."  
"And .. what?" Lloyd asked.  
"And 'her' chest became Shihnasized in a sketch!"  
".. Ew .."  
"MY DRAWINGS AREN'T EW!!" Cat yelled, shaking him. "YOU're the one who got horny after reading  
'The Erotice Life of Shihna and Lloyd'!!"  
"Read what!?"  
"You know, that manga I gave you."  
"Oh .. that has a TITLE!?"  
"I thought it up suddenly .."  
"Oh .. btw, I was NOT horny."  
"You so were!"  
"Was not!"  
The two kept on bickering, Collet and Remiel looking at them, as did the others.  
"I was NOT horny! I know how to control myself!"  
Cat stopped shaking him.  
"Wow, you must've read a LOT of porn to get control of that then .."  
Lloyd kept silent.  
"Hey, silence is an answer, remember?" Michael grinned and pried Cat's hands off of Lloyd.  
".. You are a bunch of Idiots." Remiel said.  
Cat suddenly blurted out something in spanish.  
Michael held a sign up that had a subtitle of it.  
It read: And because I am an Idiot, I can make my voice sound gruff and sexy.  
Remiel shook his head and left.

They left and Collet tripped .. of course.  
Like she does .. how many times in the game? The authoress will try it on her Kratos run through,  
which was the next to come. Then a Shihna run through .. and then it'd be a trade of Kratos and Shihna,  
making Collet HATE Lloyd, Zelos ok with him and Shihna and Kratos having the highest affection with Lloyd.  
Of course, she'd also have to down Raine ..  
"Ignoring the authoress making her notes in a story .." Lloyd sighed, putting earmuffs on.  
They build up camp, where Collet suddenly opened her mouth and .. nothing came out.  
"What is it?" Lloyd asked, earmuffs off.  
Collet wiggled her hands.  
".. Noishe has spotted a young girl trapped in a well and it's up to US to save it?"  
"Lloyd, stop trying to turn Noishe into 'Lassie' .. Lassie WAS female, right?"  
They ignored Cat, except for Michael. He hugged her.  
"Oohh, you can't talk anymore." Lloyd finally guessed on the tenth try.  
Collet nodded.  
"Kratos-sama, PLEASE give me voicelessons!" Cat blurted out.  
They looked at Kratos.  
"You can SING!?" they asked horrified.  
"Of course .. Lloyd, you have trouble sleeping, right?"  
"Huh? Uh, yeah .. Usually, I fall asleep by now .."  
Cat chuckled at his early 'bedtime'.  
Kratos smirked slightly and Cat gasped, knowing what was to come.  
"Wait a second!" she fumbled around, holding out a recorder. "Go ahead."  
Kratos rolled his eyes and took a deep breath.  
"_Yume no Arika .._" he sang.  
Lloyd fell backwards, sleeping.  
Snoring loudly.  
"Works every time." Kratos grinned.

**Cat: I stop so I update this story.  
Michael: To make me feel better.  
Cat: Yeah. Btw, the songs are .. Rhianna 'Unfaithful' there was a time where I couldn't  
turn the radio on without hearing that. I admit, it's nice.  
And the last one is 'Yume no Arika - realize your dreams' sung by, yes, Fumihiko and  
Morikawa.  
Kratos and Yuan, respectively.  
Michael: I never listened to it.  
Cat: Pretty ballade ..**


	5. A good way to spend your birthday

**Cat: And I'm going on!  
Michael: Horray! We own nothing!**

So, Lloyd was sent to sleep by Kratos' song and the others stared for a while.  
But Kratos turned his attention to Cat.  
"Alright, I'll give you voice lessons. First I have to find out how good you are." he said.  
"Sing a low C."  
Cat's eyes grew wide and she played around with her fingers.  
"Um .. well .."  
Kratos put his head on the side. "What?"  
".. See .. thing with me is .. uh .." she sighed. "I can't read notes or anything like that."  
The mercenary stayed quiet for a moment.  
".. How did you sing up to now, then?"  
"I imitated the voice." she answered in a matter-of-fact voice. "That's why I never try out  
high songs, like, Uchi E Kaerou. Come on, Collet, sing it and I'll prove I can't do it."  
Lloyd's head shot up.  
"She can't talk."  
"Yeah, but you use a different voice for singing, than for talking." Cat was about to explain.  
"Yume no Arika." Kratos said quickly and Lloyd fell back asleep.

The next day,  
Lloyd was surprised seeing Cat and Kratos a little way away, gesturing.  
"What the heck?"  
"Voice lessons." Michael said. "He's teaching her notes first. Then he goes on with breathing."  
".. Breathing?"  
"Yup. Don't you know that you need to breath a certain way for singing?"  
"Of course I know that! I sung before!" Lloyd said indignated. "I just never thought you had to PRACTICE that."  
He watched the two for a while.  
Kratos had to stand sort of behind Cat, putting one hand onto her back, the other one onto her stomach,  
slightly lower even.  
"Aren't you jealous?" he asked finally.  
"Jealous?"  
"Well, about Kratos and Cat being so close." Lloyd nodded over to them. "The way she's about him?  
She must feel like in heaven. Not afraid anything's gonna happen?"  
".. Can YOU see KRATOS do something?"  
"I was referring to Cat doing something."  
Michael grinned and sniggered.  
"No, nothing will happen. Why?" he knew Lloyd's question. "Because she is absolutely into loyalty.  
She stays completely faithful to me and I to her - and she never would get into a guy who's married."  
"Technically, he's a widower."  
"So? He still loves her. And she respects Kratos-'sama' far too much."

They entered Luin and gasped.  
"It's destroyed .." Collet pointed out the obvious.

"Who .." Lloyd mumbled.  
"Uhoh, crazy-Lloyd-moment .."

"WHO DESTROYED MY BIRTHCITY!?" he yelled and ran around Luin, looking for someone to blame.  
He disappeared and a "Kyah!" got heard.  
They tried to catch up to him, Cat grinning all over her face.

Lloyd was kneeling at the fountain, .. embracing Shihna.

Actually, what had happened was this.  
Lloyd had, when seeing Shihna, stumbled over one of the fountain's destroyed rocks and he sort of fell on

her, holding her tight.

Lloyd leaned a bit back, starting to loosen the hug, him and Shihna looking into each other's face.

"_I feel in love with you .. How long has it been since then?_" Cat sang softly.  
Shihna and Lloyd quickly went to opposite sides, not looking at each other.

"Not bad .. you can keep your notes, although .." Kratos frowned when Cat yawned. "You faked your voice."

"Sorry, I can't do a misty voice like Miso-eh, I mean, Myco."

"You don't _have_ to imitate, I told you that already."

"Putting aside the music lesson from today .." Raine said and glared at Shihna. "What are you doing here?"  
"She was rescuing the people from Luin from the Desians."

".. Yes, I was doing that .. how do you know?" Shihna asked, looking at Michael.

"They have this thing called 'Internet'. Apparently, you can find out anything from there."

"_The internet is for porn!_"  
Kratos smacked Cat's back of her head for that comment.

Shihna thought that they were crazy.

And after a talk, where Cat and Michael kept SHOVING Shihna and Lloyd together,

Shihna joined them to destroy the Human Ranch from Asgard.  
"But that's another detour on our Journey." Raine pointed out.

"Kvar is the Leader."  
"LET'S KILL HIM!!" Kratos yelled, looking MUCH MORE fearsome than before.

"I couldn't agree more." Lloyd nodded. "He's GOT to die!"

"What makes YOU say that?" Genius asked.  
".. I .. seem to remember something .." Lloyd muttered. "But it's hard to do .."

"Best to remember - or imagine - in a dark place." Cat suggested. "So, put your face between Shihna's boobs."

"What!?" the two gasped.

Lloyd blushed and Shihna - knowing what he was thinking - smacked him on the head.

"Ow!" he gasped. "I remember! My mother was killed by Kvar! Or .. at least by his orders .."

He frowned more.

"Ah, but I remember a lullaby my Dad used to sing me! And .. a friend of his. Or .. was that my uncle?"

"Was the lullaby Yume no Arika?" Cat asked, grinning all over her face again.

"Hmm .. I dunno, I need a piano or so .."  
Cat grabbed into her bag and pulled out a keyboard.  
"Tadah!"

They wondered how she managed to fit that in there.

Lloyd, though, was given the keyboard and he frowned, remembering again.

He played the melody.

"Yup, that song." he said, it really have been Yume No Arika.

After having found out Lloyd's old lullaby, Cat kept humming it, sounding weird when she

tried to get the deep notes.

"Don't try to make it sound perfectly like the original." Kratos told her

and they went to the ranch.

"So .. how are we going to get in?" Lloyd asked.

"Hmm, you COULD, you know, turn into Lloyd from Seraphim (Kratos flinched) Phenomenon and become crazy."

"Pardon?"  
"See, in that story, because you-Oops!"  
Michael put his head on the side, wondering why his Gf had suddenly gasped.

"Ahaha, almost spoiled .. anyway, cause your 'mana has been tampered with' whenever you lose control of yourself-"

"I bang whatever I see in sight?"

Cat frowned.  
".. No. That story does NOT have anything to do with sex."  
"Who are you and what have you done to the pervert."  
"The pervert usually sleeps .." Michael sighed, looking distant. "Like those many many many many times .."

"Sorry, Mikey .." Cat sighed, remember too. She cleared her throat. "No, see, when you lose control of yourself,

you run amok."

".. I kill everything in sight?"  
"Yup. You killed ALL the Desians in this ranch. .. Aside from Kvar."  
"WHY NOT HIM!?"

Cat held her ears closed.

Shihna frowned. She nudged Raine.

"Pardon, but, .. is he always such a pervert?"  
"Up to now, he was able to hide it .."

"Oh Martel, another one of those .." Shihna sighed deeply.  
"Wow, Shihna, that sounded hawt .."

"What!?"

"A deep sigh .. with your voice .." Cat looked like she was about to melt.

Michael sighed. "Great, she's in her head again."  
"Huh?" Lloyd wondered.

"She sometimes loses herself in her phantasy. Only one way to get her out .."

"And that is?"  
Michael sighed, cleared his throat and - his whole personality changed.

"Hey, Hunny-chan, sweety, you look as beautiful as ever!" he said in a flirty, cheerful voice.

"Argh, how the heck did HE get here?!" Shihna gasped, then realized it was acted.  
Cat flinched.  
"GET TOO CLOSE TO SHIHNA AND I WILL CASTRATE YOU LIKE A BULL!!" she yelled, grabbing Michael

by the collar, holding a gun in her other hand. ".. Oh, it's you."

Michael gasped for air and she let go.

"Now .. sorry about that .." Cat sighed. "Other way to get in .. Frontal attack!"

"Mmmmhhh.." Michael grinned.  
Cat and Michael burst out laughing at everyone's faces.  
Except for Kratos, Raine and Collet, who looked like always.

Ok, let's take a big jump to ..

"Your father killed your mother!"  
"What!?" Lloyd yelled. ".. Seriously?"  
"Yup."  
"She turned into a monster after her Exsphere got removed - she never haven gotten a keycrest - and

attacked you. Then, K-YOUR FATHER interfered and Noishe got hurt, by the way. And then he had to

kill her."

Lloyd looked at Cat .. then at Michael.

"Is she making this up?"  
"Nope. She took it from .. eh .. where did you get that?"  
"Tales of Symphonia Drama CD 3 'A long time ago' 'Those which I must protect'." Cat grinned.

".. What?"  
"Here." Cat gave him an mp3player.

Lloyd put the earphones in and turned it on. Looked through the titles (from Slayers, Tales Of Games,

and other random songs like Starry Heavens being played in highspeed) until he found

'Those which I must protect'.

He listened to it .. and listened to it .. and so on and forth.

Suddenly, he sunk down to his knees in fetal position, hands over his ears and head.

"Lloyd?" Cat asked.

"Is .. he alright?"

Cat lay herself flat on the floor ("Torture, torture!" Mikey cringed his hands.) and got a look into Lloyd's face.

"Ah, he's okay. Just reliving the trauma of his childhood."

"Okay?!" Shihna gasped and went down onto her knees next to her. "Are you crazy? Bad enough to not

remember your past cause of a trauma - but reliving it? That's cruel and inhumaine!"

Cat grinned. "Like you won't have to."

Shihna didn't know what she was talking about and put a hand onto Lloyd's shoulder.

"Lloyd? Can you hear me?"

No answer.

"If you can hear her, recite Dwarven Vow number 108."

"Dwarven Vow Number 108 - Do not wake up sleeping dogs." Lloyd recited perfectly, trembling. (btw, he says that vow

when you inspect the Nifleheim Book before you know what it is)

"Good, now." Cat said and she threw on a big darkblue cloak and veil. "Now, Lloyd Irving-san .. hear my voice

and do as I tell you to .. Glomp Shihna!"

Next second, Lloyd had glomped Shihna, lying on top of her, her screaming in shock.

".. Shall I make them do it right here and now?" Cat asked, rolling a crystal ball around and pulling the veil down her face.

"Just let him get comfort and let's get to it, we need to kill Kvar." Kratos said in a 'stop-with-this-nonesense' voice.

"Ok .. Shihna, hug him and he'll feel better."  
"What? Never!"

"You coldhearted bitch .."

Shihna sighed. "Fine .. just this once .." and she gave Lloyd a hug.  
A friendly hug.  
The kind you give a friend when he feels sad.  
Not the hug you give to someone who you wanna glomp and rip down their clothes with your teeth.

Lloyd bolted up, looking around like mad. "There's that voice again!!"

He looked down and saw that Shihna was underneath him.  
Cue, him getting a nosebleed.

He managed to jump off of Shihna quickly and take care of his nosebleed.  
"Hmm, better than his blood disappearing from his face .."  
"And appearing somewhere else?" Michael asked. "I thought you'd be sad about that not happening."  
"Ah, well, he's a cherry. He'll manage."

And we jump some more to..

"STOP RIGHT THERE YOU BASTARD!!" Lloyd yelled, his swords drawn.

Kvar was running around in a circle in his room, being chased by Lloyd.

"Let me join in on the fun." Kratos said and unsheathed his sword to, running at Kvar, who

quickly jumped to the side and continued the circle.

"Man, this is awesome .. Popcorn?" Cat offered around.

".. So .. they want to kill Kvar, because .. well, Lloyd wants to avenge his mother." Shihna tried to figure.

".. But why does Kratos want him dead?"  
"Revenge for his wife."

"Ah .."

Raine frowned. "Hmmm .."

"Are you thinking what we're thinking you're thinking?" Cat asked.  
"Then you are right." Michael agreed.

Lloyd and Kratos killed Kvar, Kratos using his patented awesome line  
"Feel the pain of those inferior beings as you burn in hell."

Kvar wasn't dead yet, though.  
They ran to them.

"Horray for the two Aurions!" Cat cheered.

"My last name is Irving .."

"Shut up, Grey."

"Argh ..!" Lloyd shook his head about the meaning of his name. "Who decided on my name?"  
"Your mother." Kratos answered.

Lloyd didn't bother to find out how KRATOS knew that.

"By the way, Lloyd." Cat said.  
"Dude looks like a Lady-I mean Kvar is getting back up." Michael finished the sentence.

Lloyd and Kratos turned in time and parried the hit from Kvar's .. swordlike .. staff.

"How can a staff cut through Collet's shoulder anyway?" Cat wondered in a quiet voice.

"It's a game, it doesn't HAVE to make sense."

Kratos and Lloyd really finished Kvar off this time.  
Raine went to the machines.  
"Hmmm .. hmm .." she typed around a while. "Ok, this is gonna blow up in 15 minutes. We'd better leave."

"Ain't that a bit drastic?" Shihna asked.

"For Kvar and this Fucked Up Ranch?" Lloyd replied. "Never!"

They started to run out.  
"Refill-sama-"

"Raine." Michael corrected her.  
"Eh, Raine-sama!" Cat cheered. "Use your Touma Yumi voice and laugh madly!"  
"No."  
"Aww .. tartar sauce .." the brunette sighed.

They watched from afar how the ranch exploded, both Kratos and Lloyd, looking very happy about that.

"By the way, Lloyd." Kratos said all of a sudden. "Happy Birthday."

Lloyd was quiet .. "Oh, yeah, it's my birthday! I forgot!"

"You forget everything .." Raine sighed.

"Waai, Lloyd, I give you as a present: A copy of that manga I drew!"

Kratos gave him new swords, Raine a test to study, Genius gave him cookies

and Collet glomped him for his birthday.

"Mustn't .. get .. to explode state .." Cat muttered,  
Michael smooching her to calm her down.

A camp was built up and they all entertained themselves for a while.  
"Horray, Sibling Secret, finally I get to watch it!" Cat was happy, busy on her laptop.

"Pardon, what?"

Cat stared in disbelief at Lloyd. "You know .. what, now? Futar H! ?"  
"Yeah .."  
"Kaikan Phrase (Phrase of Lust)?"  
"Yes .."  
"Virgin Crisis?"

"Yes, I read those two series of Mayu Shinjo, okay, so what?"  
"Oh my Godess, don't eh .. You know .. Aine and .. Miyu look so identical?"  
"Not really .." Lloyd sighed.

"Anyway, and you watched other OVAs from .. the same genre?" Cat asked, side-glancing at Shihna,

not wanting to freak her out.

".. Mhm."

"But you don't know Sibling Secret?"  
"If I did, I wouldn't have asked .."

Michael made Cat shut up about the subject now and told her "to go and watch it".

Which she did.

".. Question!"

"What? Is one of the girls wearing gloves?" Michael asked, grinning, her having asked a question about

something like that about something else.

"Well, they are in uniform of their restaurant, so yeah, but not my question."

Cat turned the laptop around so they could see the screen.

"What's with the 'camera shaking' when the action starts?"

Lloyd tried not to stare at the very 18+ scene on the screen too long and Shihna just stared at it

with big eyes, very red in the face.

"Who knows, who cares?" Michael just said.

"I care! It makes it VERY HARD on concentrating on Jun doing that stuff. He's .. like a mix out of Lloyd and Kratos."

"Pardon!?" the two men asked.

"You know .. Hair and color and character from Kratos - and the sadistic side of Lloyd-"

"I DO NOT have a sadistic side." the teenager said quickly.

"Suuuuuuure ya don't."

They became quiet for a while, Cat continuing to watch episode 2 of Sibling Secret (which she said looks weird)

and then episode three.

"Kyah!"  
"What? Is something wrong, Kitty?" Michael asked. "Cause I know you did not just cum after watching three episodes.  
Your voice sounds VERY different when that happens."

The others blushed at his words, trying to NOT think into that direction.

"What's wrong?" Lloyd finally asked with a frown, clearing his throat.

"Th-th .." she stuttered. "Ritsuko needs to change and-"

"Gets stared at by someone?"

"No." Cat looked away from the screen. "Her locker door opens and it reveals .. A person inside! That person is

grinning like the Chesire Cat - which, up to now I never thought of as scary - and is all in shadows and such!  
Aaahh!"

She clung to Michael, hiding her face in his vest.  
"It's okay, Sweety. It's not real." he calmed her down.

"Scarryyy .."

Lloyd took the laptop and looked at the screen.  
One of his eyebrows lifted up.

".. That .. **is** .. a bit scary. What say you?" he asked, turning the laptop to Shihna.  
"Argh! He looks like .. like .. him!" she shivered, turning her face away. "He's haunting me even here .."

Out of no perticular reason, Lloyd's jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide.

".. could it be .." he thought. "A boyfriend? An obsessive boyfriend? Or perhaps an ex who's stalking her?  
Argh, it was so obvious! A beauty like her would never be NOT in a relationship!"

Shihna looked at him.

"What's with the face?"  
".. Stalking .. boyfriend .."

"I do not have a boyfriend!" the girl snapped, blushing.

Lloyd snapped out of his weird face. "You .. are not in a relationship?"  
"No."

Lloyd's background music suddenly changed to "Freude schöner Götterfunken" (german national anthym)

and he looked relieved.

Meanwhile, Cat snatched the laptop back.  
"I'm going to finish this episode .." she muttered. (Seriously, that scene SCARED the CAT outta me!)

A few minutes later. ".. What's with the weird and weirder getting special effects?"

The next morning ..

".. Which seal do we still have to do?" Cat asked. "I forgot."

"We still have to do the water seal - and go see a unicorn." Michael told her.

"Oh yeah .."

So, Michael showed them the way to the Lake.

And they looked around, Collet commenting - by signlanguage - on how this place was nice for a picknick.

A unicorn was underneath .. some rubbish in the Lake.

"Oh my God, a white unicorn!" Cat gasped.

"It's a unicorn! And it's white!" Michael agreed, although both were totally faking it.

"Heeh? So there are still unicorns on this side?" Shihna muttered.

Lloyd looked over to her. "What?"  
"N-nothing!"

**Cat: I .. guess I'll stop here.  
Mikey: Why?  
Cat: .. I can't get on ..  
Mikey: Awww, poor one.  
Cat: Urgh, pity .. OmG, I almost forgot to put something in!**


	6. The Geysir

**Cat: And since I read stuff on Television Tropes, I suddenly came up with the laptop parts in this episode.  
Michael: You scare me sometimes.  
Cat: Eheheheh!  
Michael: We own nothing.**

So, they wanted to find out how to get to the unicorn,

and Shihna dropped the bomb about being a summoner.

"And WHAT a summoner!" Cat grinned, looking at .. specific parts of Shihna's body.

"Stop **looking** at them!"

"Can I touch them?"

"No!"

"Look, Shihna, it's pretty much your own fault." Michael explained. "You chose to wear a jacket

that doesn't **quite** close and therefore we get Fanservice."

Shihna was caught alright.

After hearing about the Seal of Water where they hadn't been yet, they made their

looooooong way back to Izoold.

"Why did we even go north first?"

"Because Cat wanted to get Shihna into our team." Michael calmed Lloyd down.

Cat, meanwhile, was busy on her laptop, reading several things.

"I love this page - no matter when you start, you always find a new page to open to-ARGH!!"

"What?" Michael asked.  
".. In the Sequel .. Lloyd says the L word to .. HER!!"

Michael looked over her shoulder and saw the screenshot.

"Ah, sweety, close the page, close the page - or at least your eyes!"

The little incident was forgotten after a while ..

"Ok, so .. Peek A Boo I'll check and Faceless - of COURSE **Anna**'s the Faceless of the OVA." she muttered.  
She continued onwards. "What!?" and laughed.

"Mh?"

".. The .." snigger. "The .. 'The Modest Orgasm'? What the Fuck is the Modest Orgasm? How can you have

a MODEST orgasm?!"

Shihna jumped a foot in the air when Cat suddenly say the .. O word. "What the heck are you reading?"  
"I suggest .. the modest orgasm is when the partner's mouth or voice is turned off and you can't hear it."

".. Collet."  
"Iargh!" Lloyd went into fetal position, using Brain Bleach to erase the thoughts approaching.  
".. 'Cock-blocked' .." Cat muttered, reading the word. "Haha, I HAVE to remember that word. Oh? Hey, Shihna,

you're in here!"

Shihna looked stunned. "What?"  
"Yeah. There's a link to another page- .. 'Absolute Cleavage' .. it figures."

"Maybe I SHOULD change .."

"Not here!" Kratos warned her. "Fangirl and Teenager-with-loads-of-UST are present!"  
The looks went from Cat and .. to Lloyd. "I do not have loads of UST! .. What is UST?"  
"Unresolved Sexual Tension."

"I don't have that!!" Lloyd yelled, his face red as his jacket.

"Btw .. ARCHE IS NOT TWELVE!!"  
They all covered their ears. "What?"  
"Tales of Phantasia - Arche is NOT - I REPEAT - NOT twelve! She's at the very least 16!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now tell us what the Modest Orgasm (Cat laughs) is."

She read it fast, it wasn't very long.  
"Titanic."

".. Pardon?"

"The 'sex' in Titanic. Where we get to see a hand slithering down the steamed window."

".. And that means?" Lloyd asked.

"It's just basically - Orgasms are too loud and too long usually-"

"Yeah right."

Nobody quite caught WHO said that.

"So they substitute it with like a picture that hints or something that has nothing to do with an orgasm anyway." Cat finished.

"Please stop saying that Word."

"Orgasm?"

Shihna went into Overlimit Mode and kicked the crap outta Cat.  
Michael 'healed' her afterwards - how, we don't want to know ..

They were back at Izoold and saw Lyla and Max arguing at the docks.  
"Look, Lyla, I am not going to become the Postman for you!"  
"Oh yes, wait a minute Mister Postman!" Cat sang. "Wa-ya-yaait, Mister Postman!"  
They all stared at her.

".. She's getting better."

"Btw, Max, no need to be worried." Michael stepped forward and solved the problem. "It's not a loveletter or so.  
It's just a reminder that he owes her 100.000.000 Gald-"

"Exactly 1 million gald more than you can carry." Cat threw in.

"Oh .. ok. Well, then I'll gladly give him the letter, Lyla, dear."  
"Finally!" Lyla rolled her eyes and gave the letter to Max.  
"Now, since we helped you solve the mystery - you give us a ride over to Palmacosta."  
"Why should I?"  
"I just said the reason!"

Max brought them over, Cat once more busy on her laptop.  
She kept frowning. And making grimaces.  
And sighing annoyed.  
"What is it, Kitty? Writer's Block again?" Michael asked.  
"Sort of." she sighed, pulling her hair. "I just **can't** write Shihlos!"  
"What is that?" Shihna asked.  
"You and Zelos as a couple-"  
"Oh no .." she sighed, shaking her head. "Why-"  
"Cause it's often used. Two people who seem to hate each other's guts and are in fact in love with each other."  
"Same with Lloyd and Collet."  
"We don't hate each other's guts." Lloyd contered.  
"No, as in .." Cat rolled her eyes and gave up on the thing she was writing. "Two people from opposite gender

know each other since childhooddays and confess at the end or beginning - thought mostly towards end - that they

love each other. And MOSTLY it's even since childhooddays. KIDS DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS!!"  
Max jumped a foot when she yelled, the ship getting a bit off-course.  
"Seriously, most of the kids are in the 'Girls - or Boys - have Cooties' stage. And the childhood is always  
childhood GIRLfriend. Victorious or Unhappy."  
"You're taking trope-names." Michael stopped her.

They went to Palmacosta and were about to turn the corner, when ..  
Cat grabbed Collet and pulled her back, resulting in both falling to the floor.  
Meanwhile, a guy with red spikey hair, a dumb looking guy, a couple you seemed to hate each other's guts,  
a shy girl and a woman in magician's clothes AND a girl with blue hair passed them like nothing happened.  
"Who do you think, we were, sweety?" Michael asked, helping her up and looking at the ones that just passed.  
"Probably the couple?"  
"So .. watcha saying?" Lloyd asked.  
"Fakers. The spikey hair is you, the magician is Raine, the bluehair is Collet." Cat started.  
"The couple is us, the shy girl is Shihna, the weird looking guy is either Genius or Kratos-" Michael got choked

for a second by Cat for the suggestion about Kratos.  
".. And that made it .. how?"  
"They got a book we might need. BUT we don't need it." Cat grinned. "We know where the last seal is, anyway."  
"Thoda Geysir." Michael agreed.

So, they managed to jump over all the stuff that makes you walk around Palmacosta continent  
three times so you find out about the book, kill Desians, walk to House of Salvation to hear about the Desians,  
go to Ranch, go back to Palmacosta, go back to Ranch and kill Magnis, do the Seal and THEN get to the damn  
Hakonesia Pass so you can get ON with the Salvation and get to the interesting part of the game.  
"That voice is really starting to irritate me." Lloyd sighed.  
"What voice?"  
"That voice that keeps ranting on stuff that makes no sense."  
Collet signaled that she didn't hear anything.  
"Lucky you .."  
It took them a while to get to the Thoda Docks, but finally they were at the reception  
and the girl, Candy, was about to charge them.  
"No need to. She's the Chosen. You aren't going to make THE CHOSEN pay up?" Michael asked in a shocked voice.  
"And she's the real one .." Shihna sighed, remembering the signs Cat and Michael had held up.  
"See?" Cat slapped Collet hard on the back, who jumped and her wings shot out.  
"Did you HAVE to hit her?" Lloyd asked in disbelief.  
"Yup. Make her skin react to something and her wings burst out."  
".. Why not just dump cold water onto her?"  
"Meh, it's more fun this way."  
Candy believed them and showed them out to the .. washtubs.  
"Oh my God, a wooden washtub!" Cat gasped.  
"It's a washtub! And it's wooden!" Michael gasped, too.  
"Oh my God, ANOTHER wooden washtub!"  
Kratos hit the couple on the back of their heads. "Quit the joking and let's move on."  
".. Y-you guys go ahead without me. I'm sure the Seal can be broken, without any help from my side."  
They all looked at Raine.  
"But, Sensei, the guardian could be tough." Lloyd put in and grinned. "I'm kinda looking foward to it-"  
"Ew, Lloyd, you're sick!" Cat laughed.  
"Not like that! I'm looking forward to a tough fight. We might need your healing abilities."  
Raine shook her head. "Kratos can use healing spells, too."  
"You're starting to sound like a child .." Michael sighed.  
"What!? I am NOT sounding like a child, you premature adolescent!"  
"I'm nineteen for crying out loud .."  
Raine huffed and got into one of the washtubs, looking disgusted, scared and annoyed, all at once.  
They slowly went into the washtubs, too, getting ready for the Journey.  
"Do not drink the water, do not eat the fish you might catch on your paddle and keep your arms and legs in at all times."  
Candy ranted down. "Souvenirs from the Thoday may only consist of rocks, pictures or statues that might have been  
placed there by accident and need to be retrieved. While on the tour for the Geysir, do not drink, eat or fall asleep. Mazel Tov."  
She threw a hand of confetti over them, looking very unemotional.  
"If you fall out of the washtub and drown, we will not be held responsible."  
And she went back inside.  
They all stared with big eyes, wondering what was THAT about, but started to row to the Geysir.

"Oh, look, a statue is in the middle of the Geysir." Lloyd pointed out.  
There was a statue of a girl with middlish long hair, wearing a robe-dress-robe .. whatever.  
And had wings that were similiar to Collet's.  
"Oh, it's Spiritua. The Angel of Death AND first Chosen of Sylvarant."  
"You're making that sound like there's another world." Genius sighed.  
"Question!" Cat's eyes went wide and she held up her hand like in class.  
"You may speak." Raine said in a teacher tone.  
"We had three seals and Collet already lost the four things she has to lose. What'll she lose this time?"  
"Heart and Memories, of course." Michael said.  
"But what will she lose at the ToS then?"  
"ToS?"  
"Tower of Salvation."  
Lloyd nodded in comprehension.  
"Hmm .. her vir-"  
"Say it and I'll ram my sword through your gut." Kratos growled at Michael.  
"Good?" Lloyd asked. (A pun. Gut is german for Good, but it can also, as we know, mean intestense.)  
Cat held up a sign that said '1 Point'. "Not a good pun - my mom makes better ones .. or worse. Depends."  
"How so?"  
"Like .. when we still had a car .. 'Give me the keys, please, Louise'." she sighed.  
Lloyd sneered. "Your name is 'Louise'?"  
"Actually, it's Lou-" Michael started and jumped, when .. Cat slapped his ass. "Whow!"  
"What the ..?"  
Cat stared at her hand. "I don't know if I liked that or not .."  
"**I** sure did!" Michael grinned.  
"Ooookayy .. moving along from those perverts. What did Candy say? Souvenirs CAN includ Statues that  
were placed here and need to get retrieved? I'll go get it. Genius, please freeze the Geysir."  
"It won't last long, you know .."  
"I didn't want you to turn it into an Eternal Glacier."  
"Okay, Okay .." Genius stood back and started to chant. ".... _Bicycle!_" (The bicycle joke comes from Tales of Doodles and isn't my work)  
A bicycle .. actually, a unicycle appeared and they all stared at it.  
"What am I supposed to do with THAT!? Ride it along the edge to the statue? Hell no." Lloyd shot a warning  
glance to Cat. "I'm not gonna do that.  
"Oops, sorry. A parody spell .. confused them for a second .. _Icicle!_"  
The geysir froze and Lloyd was quick and fast and such to get to the statue.  
On the way back, though, he got burned by a sudden shot of hot water.  
"Lloyd, are you alright?" Shihna asked when he was back.  
"That's a pretty serious burn .." Kratos muttered, healing it quickly.

Inside, it was really cold and wet and dripping.  
"That voice .. uhoh .." Lloyd muttered, side-glancing at Michael and Cat.  
"Hmmmmm! This sure reminds me of you!" Michael grinned. "Except for the cold part."  
"Keep Tucker under control, man .." Cat nudged him.  
"Who's Tucker?" Lloyd asked, ignoring their comments.  
"One of his seperate personalities. There's Tucker, who's the pervert and .." Cat got stuck. "He's got twelve."  
"Doc - A pacifist and caring person, Church is uncaring, Tucker is pervyness, Caboose is an Idiot - sorta like you Lloyd-"  
"What!?"  
"Ahaha, sorry, that was Sarge the Asshole. Grif is Lazy, Simmons is the Asskisser-"  
"Gay?"  
"No. Lopez is the spanishspeaker-"  
"And he makes his voice sound gruff and sexy with it." Cat grinned, trying to imitate a spanish accent. Which she sorta could.  
"And O'Malley is the bloodthirsty, violent bastard."  
".. He and Tucker share first place when we get to SM, right?"  
Michael nodded vigorously.  
"That was only nine."  
"Oh, right, there's also Donut who IS the gay part of me."  
Lloyd stepped FAR AWAY from Michael. "Still two missing."  
"Oh, right .. um .. Andy the Angry and Tax the AssKICKer. Do NOT confuse him with Simmons - you'll pay dearly .."

They made their way to the altar, Cat sitting far back, grabbing a notepad and a pencil.  
"Watcha doing?"  
"Sketching this .. and trying to make the priestess' hair like seaweed."  
Lloyd watched her a bit at the sketching. "You know, if you want it to look like seaweed, do this."  
He took the pencil and sketched it roughly in.  
".. You're good at drawing."  
"Well, I DO have 98 points in it."  
Kratos whistled and Lloyd immediately appeared next to him.  
"Yes, Sir, Sir, Hoshi, Sir?"  
Cat grinned. "Haven't heard 'Hoshi' since last time I watched Ted and Bill's crazy Time Adventure in german. Man, that was weird .."  
"Get your ass up, too, Cat, it's fighting time."  
"Whohoo!"

**Cat: Short, but I wanted to upload.  
Michael: Horray for you.  
Cat: My eyes burn .. maybe I shouldn't be at Tv and Computer so long .. but the eyedrops don't help.  
Michael: Because you can't put them in properly.  
Cat: Curse the automatic closing of the eyes!**


	7. Skip Beat! Mania

**Cat: -is busy reading stuff on Wikipedia-  
Michael: I hate it when she ignores me.  
Cat: ZomG!! OO .. -starts to write chapter-**

The guardian was killed and Collet got her blessing, Cat busy on her laptop again.  
"Go to the Tower of Salvation and give your prayer there. You will then have completed your Journey." Remiel said and disappeared.  
"Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiik!!"  
Everyone jumped and stared at Cat, who looked at her laptop with big eyes.  
"What? Found a Yaoi Pic drawn by a Yaoifangirl?" Lloyd asked.  
Cat glomped him, grabbing his colar and shaking him.  
"ZomG, Ren Tsuruga! Ren Tsuruga! Tsuru Renga!!" (Last is a pun, Renga meaning Brick, Tsuru meaning Crane .. you know that bird)  
"What?" Michael asked, not knowing what was going on with his girlfriend.  
He checked the laptop. "You're happy because .. Katsuyuki Konishi (Lloyd's japanese VA) is speaking Tsuruga Ren  
in 'Skip Beat!'?"  
Cat nodded and nodded and nodded. "Say something with your Tsuruga Voice!"  
"Hell no!" Lloyd snapped at her, his voice significally deeper.  
"Miik!" Cat swayed onto the floor, looking happy. "Koni-chi .."  
"Stop playing with my name, dammit." Lloyd sighed, his usual Lloydvoice now again.  
Cat kept jumping around.  
"Oh great .. Get it out of your system, sweety. Quote it and get done with." Michael sighed,  
putting on a cloak and some fake glasses.  
"Iiiyaah, Ilapallazzo-sama, Banzaaaai!! Il-il-Palla-palla-Zo-zo-zo .. what's with the rope?"  
"Doesn't matter." Michael said in a deep voice.  
Cat kept quoting Excel from Excel Saga Episode 1 until a fake gun was shot at her.  
".. is she ok?"  
"I've never been better!" Cat got up, grinning widely. Then she saw Lloyd. "Ppfffrrt! Ahahaha,  
I can't WAIT to watch the episode where you HUG Kyoko from volume 12!"  
"What!? You hug her!?" Shihna glared at Lloyd. "What character are you, anyway!?"  
"Someone who can't love, a perfect actor who had trouble ACTING love until I fell in love myself.  
Also, I'm 20 and I look awesome."  
"She's jealous .." Michael grinned."  
"I- .. I'm not jealous!!"  
"Oh and you also need a moby with internet-access so you can look up words you don't know in your lines.  
Aaaand you were fired from your jobs in USA so many times you lose count-"  
"Hey, hey, I know." Lloyd sighed.  
"Tenteko Dance." (japanese slang for 'being very busy', Ren thought it was a REAL dance)  
Lloyd quickly tried to keep himself from laughing.

"And you're such a bastard." Cat finished her LONG description of Ren Tsuruga  
after the pact was done.  
".. how so?" Shihna asked, getting interested.  
"Well .. he has a secret face that he only showed to Kyoko - a REALLY EVIL face.  
It made Kyoko's evil spirits look nice." Cat grinned. "On other hand he always was so friendly.  
Like, he takes some luggage off of Kyoko and then she gets points deducted for 'making' Ren carry it."  
"I was just hating her reason for entering show-biz." Lloyd shrugged his shoulder in the american way.  
"She's right .. this Ren-person really IS a bastard .."

Back at the Lake, Cat was busy watching Skip Beat episodes, with earphones on so as not to disturb - but her  
laughing or just short bursts of laugh were hinting that she liked the anime.  
And they were discussing how to manage the situation.  
"The unicorn with only meet .. pure maidens .." Kratos muttered. "So, Michael, Lloyd, Genius and I can't go."  
"Hehe, Kitty can't go either. Five months too late." Michael laughed to himself in triumph.  
"Hey, hey .." Lloyd sighed. "How about you and Collet go, Sensei?"  
"I can't. I'm .. an adult."  
"Translation, you slept with someone. No need to use secret langu-rgh!" Lloyd got choked by his teacher.  
"Well, what now?" Genius asked. "We can't send Collet on her own."  
"A-are you trying to imply that I'm not qualified to meet the unicorn?" Shihna snapped at him.  
"Qualified??" Genius and Lloyd, freed from Raine's clutches, asked.  
"Y-Y-you don't have to say it at the same time .." the woman stuttered.  
"Yeah, she's a virgin - as Cat pointed out." Michael smiled. "So, there's no problem in her going-"  
"Ahahaha!" Cat put a hand to her mouth to stifle her laugh. "Lloyd, you use your Lloydvoice here! Ah,  
Ren Tsuruga with a highish voice!"  
Lloyd sighed and gave her a playful slap (while having a displeased face expression) and Cat shut up.

OK, let's ignore the whole talk with the unicorn.  
It's SO BORING.  
Actually, the whole Sylvarant first part section is boring.  
It's same thing over and over again - plus you don't have a lot of characters to choose from.  
Although, I don't like Zelos much - he takes too long to hit the enemy, I still like to keep him in my team.  
You know, as the person who is suffering because I overload Shihloyd.  
Like, I'm going to only make walkthroughs with Kratos and Shihna, so that Collet will hate Lloyd ..  
"That voice is getting more and more annoying .." Lloyd sighed.  
They went to Haima and healed Pietro, who said that he'd rebuild Luin.  
"Here's the money." Michael swung a big fat sack full of gald at Pietro.  
"Pardon?"  
"485.500 Gald - exactly the amount of money you'll need to rebuild Luin, improve it and put three statues up."  
"Of Lloyd, Raine and Shihna." Cat muttered, fixating on the laptop again.

So, Pietro left.  
The others relaxed before going to the ToS - Cat telling them that they'll use dragons to ride over it.  
"Hiyaaaah!" Cat sighed. "Koni-chi!"  
"Don't play with my last name, for F's sake!" Lloyd snapped at her. "What's so super special awesome about Ren now, huh?"  
Cat rolled around the floor, laughing like a little schoolgirl in love - which she probably was.  
Apart from being a schoolgirl.  
"Shihna! You've gotta listen to this - because LLOYD will say this to you someday." Cat urged Shihna.  
"Huh? .. Uh .. ok?"  
Cat turned the volume up and got ready to play.  
Just so you know. Collet was staring out the window, Genius was doing a .. rubic cube? That's what they're called, right?  
Raine was reading, Kratos was polishing his sword - and lecturing Lloyd (who was drinking something) on why two-sword  
fighting was very different from one-sword fight and how their training wouldn't work anymore.  
Michael was being bored out of his brain. By figuring out what Collet was 'telling' him through signlanguage.  
Shihna looked at the screen - showing Tsuruga Ren with those flimsy, blurry frames around the edges and sparkles and shit.  
You know, stuff they show at romance scenes.  
Then Ren said "Marry me."  
Cue, Lloyd spit his drink out, hitting Collet off the chair she was sitting on.

Then they stayed in Palmacosta's Inn.  
"Why are we in Palmacosta?" Lloyd asked.  
"Reasons .."  
"I hate continuity .." the brunette boy sighed.  
Night was there and then .. a "Kyaaaaaaaaaahh!!" sign appeared over the Inn in the sky.  
Lloyd kicked the door in - that wasn't even locked in any sort of way - in a badass style and rushed into the room.  
"What's wrong? Collet, did you scream? Why? .. And how come we heard that?"  
Kratos came in next, wearing nothing on top, then Raine and Genius.  
The couple was missing, by the way.  
Collet was waving her arms up and down - why was she fully dressed while "asleep"?  
"There's someone who fell down the well.. again!?" Lloyd sighed.  
"No, she says someone was just in her room, trying to attack her."  
They all stared at Shihna, who was sharing the room with the Chosen.  
"I-it wasn't me!" she snapped right away. "I was pretty much asleep until she woke me up .. however she managed to do that."  
".. but you WERE the one who tried to attack ME in Triet, right?" Lloyd asked, remembering the happening.  
"W-what!?" Shihna gasped. "W-w-w-why would I want to sneak into your room!?"  
"Obviously to have sex." Cat appeared, wearing a thick blue bathrobe.  
"Gyah! Where do you come from?" Lloyd gasped.  
".. Room number .. uh .. ooh, my legs still aren't here .. um .. 205, right? Whatever. Came from my room. Came, anyway .."  
"Ooook, TMI."  
Collet continued to do more signlanguage.  
"Whoever it was who attacked her, the person disappeared." Kratos calmed them down. "You, get some sleep."  
Cat yawned.  
"Just a break .. gawd .."  
Michael appeared, wearing some pants that were obviously quickly put on.  
"Come on, back to bed, sweety .." he sighed, stiffling a yawn.  
"Awww .."  
"Don't act like you are not totally into it .." Michael said, pushing Cat gently back into their room.  
"...... O .. kay." Lloyd sighed. "Night."

And back to Haima.  
"What's with the quickjumps?" Lloyd asked.  
"The what now?" Raine asked back.  
Cat was watching an unsubbed episode of Skip Beat, since it was a frehs one without subs yet.  
"Oooh .. **I** want to sit between Ren-sama's legs - or on his lap at all." she sighed happily.  
"You sat on my lap yesterday. More than that." Michael grinned widely.  
"Ehehehe, that's true."  
"Enough with the secret-yet-obvious-sextalk." Lloyd sighed.  
"Lloyd, you hypocrite."  
"Huh?"  
"Just saying .. once you find your real father, remember what Ren said. You and your father might act a bit weirdly  
towards each other, because you two don't know each other that well." Cat told him.  
".. I gave that advice to a seven year old. There wasn't enough time to get to know each other yet.  
I, on the other hand, am eighteen and my dad should know me by now-then again, mom died when I was four .. or five?"  
"Three." Kratos answered.  
"Yes, right, thanks. So .. eh, haven't seen each other in a while .. could be true."

And we jump more.  
When it came to choosing who riding with whom to the Tower, Kratos went with Collet,  
since he had been engaged to protect her, Raine was shoved together with Genius and, once that was done,  
Cat and Michael ran .. or rather flew, off with one dragon.  
So, Lloyd HAD to go with Shihna. Although he probably didn't really mind.  
They were greeted with two wide grins when they got to the tower.  
"Ey, Lloyd? Feeling alright? Not suffering from lack of blood?" Cat asked, patting his shoulder.  
Lloyd glared at her, waited until Shihna couldn't hear him. "You did that on purpose!"  
"Hell yeah!" Cat laughed. "Shihna SURE has some chest, huh?"  
"They kept rubbing against and lying on my back .." Lloyd sighed, sounding like he was suffering.  
Which he was not.  
They went up the stairs and inside the tower that never ended.  
"Hm .. 'And it was He who would endure scorching deserts, blistering colds and he'd climb to the highest room in the  
tallest tower'!" Cat quoted. "To find a gender-confused wolf."  
"Pardon?"  
"Just thought of something .." Cat gasped. "Oh no, there's a Colloyd Scene coming."  
She turned to her partner. "Can we make out during it?"  
"Sure!"  
"Definitely Not!" Raine snapped at them. "This is an important part of our Regeneration Journey."  
"Ah, why should we listen? We know it by heart. Which, Collet won't have afterwards."  
"Yeah, she's gonna die to regenerate Sylvarant. Which won't happen."  
"Argh, you two are confusing me! You say she's gonna die to regenerate this world, but that won't happen after all.  
WHICH ONE IS IT!?"  
"I take the telephone joker!" Cat pulled out her moby and dialled a number.  
Michael pulled out his ringing moby and answered. "Yes, my little sweetypie with the gorgeous mouth?"  
"Whatever you mean by that, no. We forgot to tell them about Tethe'alla, right?"  
"Yup."  
"Dang!"

**Cat: ZomG, I was SO suprised when I saw that they made an anime of Skip Beat!  
Actually, I got stunned over it when I read that Lloyd's VA speaks Ren .. Ren is awesome ..  
Michael: ..  
Cat: Kinda like Kratos, only much more sadistic.  
Michael: Hello? **I** am your fiancé, remember?  
Cat: I know. Just swooing over a fake person.  
Michael: True .. I can live with that.  
Cat: And I forgot to put some Palmacosta scenes in .. Oh well! Maybe we'll make a deleted Scenes Chapter!**


	8. At the Renegades Base

**Cat: Uuuurgh, I can't WAIT anymore! Online Manga Reading here I come!  
Michael: She can't wait what Ren is going to do to secure his role. We own nothing.**

"-it's an act of mercy." Cat finished.  
"How did we get from 'The Two Worlds Sylvarant and Tethe'alla' to 'How to kill a Mother and Baby without regret'?" Michael asked.  
"Wait, what makes it an act of mercy?" Lloyd asked.  
"See, if you want to kill a mother and her baby, kill the mother first. Then the baby. Because .. the baby can't survive without the mother."  
".. where did you get that idea?" Shihna asked shocked, not minding the stares she got since she came from Tethe'alla.  
Or because of her chestsize?  
"I read it in a book, that mentioned it was in a book. .. Or something like that. Or it was in my ethics lessons?"  
"What kinda ethic did YOU learn?"

They entered to the altar and gasped.  
Collet was floating next to Remiel, an eerie aura around her.  
"What the heck?" Lloyd asked.  
Michael rolled his eyes. "We already said that. Collet sacrifices herself to keep Sylvarant from decaying anymore."  
"And you'd be ready to sacrifice Collet for the world - giving you some Emo Heroic BSOD Moments later on."  
"BSOD?"  
"Blue Screen Of Death."  
"Huh?"  
"It's, like, with computers." Cat explained. "You just don't function anymore."  
"Fun ..ction ..?" Lloyd asked, his head going to one side.  
"Like that."  
Lloyd shook his head. "A Colloyd Scene was to come, right?" he grinned.  
"We missed it." Michael said. "Thankfully. You were supposed to, you know, rush up and try to keep her from sacrificing herself  
and yadda yadda yadda. You know, that Heroic Rescue The Damsel Thing."  
Lloyd's eyes went wide. "I was?"  
"Yeah, you are the type who'd like Damsels in Distress, right? You're the maincharacter, you have to."  
"But that doesn't stop the fans from pairing you with EVERYONE ELSE! Ahahaha-ZomG!!" Cat gasped.  
She was reading Skip Beat! Online.  
"Lloyd, you .. Ren .. you .. YOU CASANOVA!" she got into giggle fits. "You .. finger .. gyahaha!"  
"Just keep on reading." Lloyd grinned, knowing what she meant. He got weird stares. "As Ren, and while during a test acting,  
I am with a girl who I love and she cuts herself."  
"Oooooh!" Michael nodded. "The old 'I will treat your wound by licking it', eh?"  
"Exactly."  
Cat read. "Gaaah! You bastard! You coward!"  
"I'm such an asshole as Ren." Lloyd grinned. "Anyway, what to do now? I missed my cue to act heroic,  
tell Collet 'where there's a will, there's a way' and we'll stand this through together and yadda yadda yadda.  
You know us Rescue Types."  
"Well, _she_ ain't gonna do anything." Michael pointed to Cat, who was still reading onwards.  
"Mmmhh .. Ren-Fanservice .." she muttered.

"Kratos, what the heck are you doing up there?!" Lloyd snapped, pointing.  
"It's rude to point." Kratos told him.  
"Hey, hey, I'm not doing it with a naked finger. I'm wearing gloves, after all." the teenager contered.  
"That's true-what is THAT?" Kratos nodded over to the corner.  
Cat was almost melting away.  
"Uh .." Lloyd looked at Michael.  
"She's completely in the manga. She'll squeal like a fangirl who sees a hot guy in bondage clothes - like Kratos-"  
"I am not wearing bondage clothes." Kratos growled.  
"Well .. your Cruxis Clothes look like it. There are like, what, 10 belts on it?"  
Lloyd gave Kratos a straaaaange look.  
Kratos avoided it.  
"Anyway, she'll squeel, she'll sigh, she'll giggle like crazy at the most inapropriate moment. And she'll probably  
drool, too, if there's more 'Ren Fanservice'."  
Lloyd rattered his brain. ".. there's no more Ren Fanservice the next few chapters .. although .. Kyoko will take a bath."  
"That's enough for her. She thinks Kyoko is cute."  
"CUTE!?" Lloyd gasped. "That girl who controls evil spirits and can choke you with them?"  
"Beagles .. Pffrt!" Cat snorted, twitching with laughter.  
"Anyway .. Ok, here's the deal." Michael sighed, wanting to get the scene over with. "Kratos works for Cruxis, YES he's been  
deceiving us, bohoo. And Collet is practically dead now, but a Keycrest WILL save her. Got it? Got it. Let's leave."  
He got ready to leave. "Hang on, Blondie still has to appear."  
Lloyd pointed to Collet.  
"No, no. The OTHER Blondie."  
"Wow, Ren-sama's tongue .."

"Here I am!" a blonde angel appeared with pink wings.  
Could you GET any gayer? Of course, looking at Zelos first glance ..  
"Ok, who IS this Zelos?" Lloyd asked, looking annoyed.  
Cat flinched and pulled a paper and a table from her bag and stood on the table.  
"THIS is Zelos!" she unrolled the paper, which was a lifesize poster.  
It was Zelos alright. The long red curls and the white hairband were there. And the sword on his side.  
"Age 21 .. or 22?" Cat wondered.  
Everyone who saw the poster was shocked.  
Shihna gasped and quickly hid behind Lloyd, muttering 'That will haunt me my dreams ..'  
"D-don't you mean nightmares?" Lloyd asked, his nerves twitching because of her touch and because of the poster.  
"No, I already have other nightmares .."  
"Kitty .." Michael asked and pointed at the poster.  
"Hm?" Cat looked. "AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Nooooo! Speedo version! Aaarrghzz!!"  
She was on the floor the next second, dissolved in tears and twitching.  
"Speedo .. no .. scared .. speedo .. hate .. zelos .. speedo .."  
"Sweety, it's okay. Nobody here is wearing a speedo or so." Michael calmed her down, burning the poster.  
(Several Zelos Fans are starting to sharpen their weapons)  
"You know that." he insisted. "Of course, dunno if any of the girls are wearing tangas or so - but that's not the point."  
Cat still didn't respond, just kept muttering "Speedo .. speedo evil .. evil, EVIL sin .. like Lloyd's suspenders .."  
"Are they really that bad?" Lloyd asked.  
"You're wearing red with darkblue AND brown belts." Michael said. "Of course it looks horrible. Lose the suspenders  
and you'll look better."  
He picked up his girl and left, saying "We'll be back in a jiffy."  
They all stared at Lloyd and his clothes now.  
".. maybe I should've asked Dirk to make other clothes for me .."  
Kratos teleported, with his blue wings out suddenly, next to Lloyd.  
"For crying out loud, Boy, close your pants all the way! We're in the company of ladies!" he snapped.  
Lloyd jumped at the sudden authority kind of voice of Kratos.  
"Comb your hair! Straighten your collar! Stand up straight! Clean your fingernails!"  
Kratos kept going and telling Lloyd to straighten his appearance.

A few minutes later, the couple came back, Cat looking a bit weak but otherwise fine.  
"Ow, my jaw .." she sighed.  
"Hey, hey .."  
They saw the whole scene, still similiar to when they left. The ashes of the poster were still there.  
"What's going on?" Cat asked.  
Lloyd stood stockstill, Shihna still 'hiding' behind him.  
"Um .. Kratos suddenly started to sound like authority .. apparently, that scared Lloyd."  
"Awww, Lloydie-chan is scared."  
Lloyd looked over to Cat and glared.  
".. Aurion Glare .." Michael muttered.  
Cat returned to her laptop.  
Meanwhile, the blond angel's eyebrows went up and up further.  
".. what's supposed to happen, now, anyway?" he asked.  
"Lloyd's supposed to ask for your name."  
"I-"  
"Yeah, yeah, you don't give your name to dogs." Michael shrugged his shoulder.  
"ZomG, somebody save Kyoko!!" Cat yelled, chewing on a hanky.  
"She'll save herself." Lloyd sighed.  
The blond angel frowned, wondering what that group was.  
"Anyway, you're witnesses right? And you know about real reason of regeneration. So, you'll have to die to not talk."  
"You're making one world suffer .." Raine sighed.  
"Yes, but for a reason-_What is __**wrong**__ with her_!?" the blond angel pointed to Cat.  
She was looking straight ahead with a dreamy, starry gaze, her hands clasped together.  
"She's imagining something romantic." Michael kneeled down to her. "What are you 'supposing', Sara?" (Referring to The Little Princess)  
"Ren-sama appearing the next day, Kyoko rushing into his arms, searching desperately for help,  
Ren-sama first surprised but hugging her .. Haaah .."  
"Like Kyoko would ever do that."  
"Too true .." Cat looked depressed about that. "Faaaanfiction!"  
Lloyd rolled his eyes. "Fans will do ANYTHING to get their pairings .."  
"Sho's really changing to a nice guy .." Cat sighed. "Question! A) What will Maria do when she finds out that  
Kyoko and Ren love each other? B) .... what was my question again?"  
Cue group drop.  
"Oh yes! WHO the FUCK translated this chapter? Or edited it? It's the second bad editing I see and the translation!  
Godess, it's like someone is using Chattalk only because they can't spell worth beans!"  
"Yes, there has to be a certain standard of Editing and Translation, I know." Michael sighed, knowing  
that Cat was translating the Tales of Destiny Manga into German.  
Cat fainted to the right side.  
"Argh! Sweety, you okay?" Michael carried her like a bride. ".. just a few years .."  
"One Page of Ren-sama .. his smile .. and Kyoko is happy to see him! Ahahaha!"  
Next second, everything was in deep smoke.

"Ok, where are we?" Lloyd asked, waking up.  
It was a familiar room with carpet and a bed. What was a bed doing in a Base?  
Whatever ..  
He looked around and saw Cat, Michael sitting close behind her, still reading Skip Beat! Chapters online.  
"Are you ever gonna stop?"  
"No .. I need to know what happens .." she said and then laughed at Ren's weird face when Kyoko rushes in, yelling 'Are you Okay, Tsuruga-san'.  
She shivered.  
"Cold? Shall I warm you with my body?" Michael asked, a sneer on his face, holding her closer.  
"I can so see why Ren is woried about being alone with Kyoko. She's so cute .. I mean .. **I** want to hug her!"  
Lloyd rolled his eyes and, seeing Collet, went to check if there was a change from her soulless state.  
"Ooh, what could 'THAT' be?" Michael asked.  
"Ain't it obvious?" Cat grinned.  
"You guys are such perverts!" Lloyd snapped at them, blushing. "What Ren and Kyoko are doing in the bus is not-"  
Cat sighed. "I know. I meant Lap Pillow. That HAD to be it!"  
".. Oh." Lloyd said and coughed, trying to hide his embarrassment.  
"Aww, she's caressing his hair .. come on, Ren, purr."  
Lloyd's mouth gaped open.  
"What!?" Cat asked, feeling Lloyd's gaze on her.  
"You're the only one who does that, when it's done to you." Michael explained.  
"Oh .." Cat suddenly gasped in time for a climatic moment at the beginning of the chapter .. then was quiet.  
"Sweety?"  
Cat then went to coughing, since she had choked.  
Michael sighed. "That can happen only to you .."  
".. Lloyd .. Ren used to be .. blond?" she asked when she calmed down.  
Lloyd remained silent.  
"YEEEEES, A HUG SCENE!! My dream of seeing it has fulfilled."  
"Now you'll stay quiet about it, right?" Lloyd asked in hope.  
"No, my dream is now to see Kyoko and Ren kissing eachother. Aww, why did Kyoko bleach her hair again? She looked better with black hair .."

They were led by someone who got into the room - Lloyd pointing at him and yelled "Desian!" - into a different room.  
"Isn't this the one .. I ran into .. when I got kidnapped?" Lloyd asked.  
"It's the same." Michael told him.  
Two men were standing at a desk, one a big hunk, if he were to wear jeans, you'd think of him as a bodybuilder.  
The other one, obviously from a higher rank, with long blue hair stepped forward.  
"You finally woke up." he said. "You probably wonder why you are here and who-"  
"Yuan-sama!!" Cat yelled and glomped his leg. "Yuan-sama, Yuan-sama, Yuan-sama, Yuan-sama!"  
She kept saying that, rubbing her head against his pants, at a spot that was very close to his crotch.  
"What is wrong with her!? .. Don't tell me .." Yuan gasped. "She's a Fangirl?"  
Michael nodded.  
"Oh dear .." he sighed. "Ok, listen, Missy. I. Am. Engaged."  
"I know!" Cat smiled widely. "Oh, hey, Lloyd."  
She peeled herself off of Yuan and crawled over to Lloyd, sticking a hand into his pantspocket.  
"Argh, what the F!?" he gasped and then sighed in relief, when she pulled her hand back out. "What a shock .."  
Cat crawled back to Yuan and held up a little satin box and opened it.  
"I told you .." Yuan sighed, holding his head. "I'm already Engaged, even if she is dead, my love is undying, eternal and-Is that the ..?"  
"Yes. This is the ring you lost." she said and held it out to him.  
Yuan took it thankfully and put it back on, hiding it underneath his gloves again.  
"Thank you." he sighed in relief. And hugged her.  
"Morikawa-sama .." she sighed.  
Lloyd looked pissed off - not as much as Michael, but ..  
" 'Kratos-sama' is Fumihiko-sama, 'Yuan-sama' is Morikawa-sama, but **I** am just Lloyd and  
called Koni-chi .. what's so hard about saying KoniSHI! Shi! Shi, dammit!"  
Yuan let Cat go, who shook her head and got back to her mind.  
"It was a pleasure." Cat smiled and crawled back, sitting in seiza.  
"How does she move that way?" Genius asked.  
"She stretches her feet more and uses her toes to move." Lloyd explained.  
Cat went back to the laptop.  
"Lloyd, you know what Fans ususally call me?"  
".. Mori-Mori?"  
"Exactly."

"Hang on, so .." Lloyd sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Yggdrasill is the blonde angel that was in the Tower of Salvation,

where you ordered your men to set smoke bombs and grab us to get here. And that angel Yggdrasill is also the Leader of Cruxis,

and has separated Sylvarant and Tethe'alla from each other."  
"Nicely phrased, yes."

".. You brought us here through kidnapping, just so you could tell us that?" Lloyd asked.  
"Well, not solely for that reason, the reason is-"  
"Aargh!" Cat gasped, sitting in front of her laptop still - alone this time - and reading a story. "Noo, poor Lloyd,

although I imagine him completely drenched in sweat with the shirt clinging to him .. and the buttons are open .. and we get fanservice.  
Awww, Daddy is coming home .."  
Lloyd pointed at Cat.  
"I admit, I have no Idea what is going on with her now." Michael said. "Sweety?"  
"Awesome story .. oh .. perfect .. wonderful .. disgustingly bloody, but awesome .." she muttered, not realizing that she was not alone,  
shivering. "Perfect, the adrenaline is coursing through my body .."  
"O .. kay .. Now, either she's cold .." Michael sighed. "or she got horny through the story because of it's torture and blood, apparently."  
"She gets horny through torture?" Lloyd asked, scared.  
"She's into SM, of course she does."  
"Yay, Collet severely injured, horray-Argh, Refill-"  
"It's 'Raine'." the woman sighed, rolling her eyes.  
"-sama stabbed through, ZOMG, Lloyd completely mutilated! Mhhh, Shihloyd .. ahaha, Zelos was on second place for it,  
ahaha-Refill-"  
"RAINE!"  
"-sama got a vote! Oh well .."  
Yuan cleared his throat.  
"IGNORING HER for once .." he sighed, swishing his ponytail back. "You see .. well, you know the reason why there is the Chosen now, right?"  
"Cruxis sends Oracles out to get the Chosen One to the Tower of Salvation to become Soulless and take on Martel's soul so she

will be resurrected. Which means death for the 'Host'. And the Chosen One gets-"  
"Wow, Lloyd has black wings!" Cat gasped. She gave a dreamy sigh.  
"The Chosen One gets 'planned' in advance by phrophecies given from Cruxis to the Then-Chosen and someone else,

who will then give birth to the next Chosen One, trying to creat a manasignature as close as possible to Martel." Raine finished.  
"You're very clever-"  
"Nooo, Yuan-sama!!"  
"What?" Yuan asked, glareing at the girl, who was actually still talking to herself. ".. Whatever."  
Cat flinched. "Wait, Sad Song, Sad Song .. eh .. eh .. Eternal Snow!"  
she played in quietly on her Laptop, the music just barely floating in the air.  
Michael kept staring at her. "Kitty? Why are you crying?"  
"I'm not crying!" she said, but her eyes were wet. "Hang on .. just a bit .. come on .. Nope, not crying about this."  
"Maybe I'd feel better knowing that Cat can cry over something sad .." Lloyd muttered.  
Michael fell to his knees, looking emo.  
"Uh .. Michael?"  
"I .. saw her cry severely .. at the close beginning to our relationship - but before we were inofficially engaged .. it .. was a horrible sight."  
Cat got up and pouted.  
She grabbed Shihna's arm. "Shihna, please! You have to do this with me. Sing with me!"  
"W-what?"  
Cat ignored any protest and looked at Collet. "You sing, too."  
"Hang on, Collet is soulless, she can't sing." Genius said.  
"She's probably convinced that you can sing - you sing with a different voice than your normal one." Yuan explained.  
"Oh, you mean like me?" Lloyd said with a slight singing voice, his voice a deeper tone than before.  
"Yes, like that."

Cat had pulled out three microphones and stands out of her bag and pulled them up.  
"Ok, Eternal Snow starts .. 5 .. 4 .. D'uh .."  
There was a sudden laugh from everyone in the room - aside from Yuan and Botta, who just smirked.  
The music started.  
"_Hold Me Tight .. so close that I might break .._" they sang in nice unison,  
Collet's voice still being rather high though, Cat's had a misty sound to it, which sounded like it hurt to sing - or talk - like that.  
"_Because in your arms .. I won't be cold .._" Cat broke down, crying rivers.  
The two girls stopped singing and stared.  
As did everyone else.  
"Meanie .. every .. every .." she hiccuped. "Every awesome Aurion gets killed off .. Yuan-sama too .."  
"You've seen her cry now .." Michael mentioned and Lloyd nodded. Michael went and hugged his girlfriend. "Aww, don't be sad sweety-"  
"WHY DOESN'T COLLET GET KILLED OFF!?" Cat yelled, her eyes looking green with a splint of blue in it.  
"Uh-oh .. now, Kitty, calm down. It's not that bad."  
Cat took a deep breath and then looked dreamy.  
"Well, at least Shihna-chan is pregnant .."  
"With Lloyd's child?" Michael asked.  
Cat nodded and Lloyd and Shihna got intensely red.  
"Total .. Mercuy-Moods."

**Cat earned the title 'Mercury Moods' - "How does this world know what Mercury is, anyway?"**

**Michael earned the title 'Comforter' - "He knows when you need it, and he'll give it to you"**

"Now .. could we _please_ return to the matter on hand?" Yuan asked.  
"Of course!" Cat smiled and got up, patting down her skirt getting the dirt off.  
"There is no dirt on the rug of the Renegades." Botta said in a mechanical voice.  
".. Maybe I should've turned you into a Mechanical Person and not a Guy-in-a-robe-with-a-gay-laster-name Type."  
"Huh?"  
"Her story Whackphonia."  
"Now, Lloyd - Yuan-sama wants you-"  
"You didn't seem like a Homosexual to me."  
Yuan whacked Lloyd's face with his axe-sword. "I am not! I just said it! I. AM. ENGAGED. To a woman! Even if she's dead!"  
"Hang on .. is this with, like, Kratos? Having a partner who got brutally slaughtered?"  
"Yes."  
"Oh great, another one of those .." Lloyd sighed, slapping his forehead.  
"Just you wait until we get REGAL .."  
"Who?"  
"Nevermind that now." Michael said with an impatient gesture. "Ok, Yuan, you want to get your hands on Lloyd - but your wound

from Haima is keeping you from following us."  
"What are you talking about? My injury feels just f-" Yuan started, but got kicked into the stomach by Michael. "Urgh .."  
They cheesed it outta there.  
Cat ran back.  
"Collet, the song is done. Come on!"  
Collet nodded and caught up.

**Cat: Wahaaa, that story was so .. rather bloody, literally. But I liked it.  
Michael: Which was ..  
Cat: The Guilty by ... Hikaru Irving! Yes, that was it. I can't quite get into the Sequel though ..  
Michael: Maybe you don't like OCs?  
Cat: Maybe?**


	9. And we need Zelos now

**Cat: Dead Or Alive! Yay!  
Michael: Oh great, she's into something new ..  
Cat: And there'll be a DoA Cameo! Ryu - although I hate him.  
Michael: Because of the Izuna Drop.  
Cat: Ayane is awesome!  
Michael: Agreed!  
Cat: Kasumi, too .. Kuwashima sounds much better for her than Tange.  
Michael: Kuwashima being Presea's voice, right?  
Cat: Bingo!  
Michael: Is one of Bayman's Taunts.  
Cat: Ahahaha! Oh, and Hayate! Yay, Hayate!!  
Michael: .. I'm hotter than him.  
Cat: Of course you are!  
Michael: We don't own anything - aside from her Dead Or Alive 2 Hardcore,  
I own Dead or Alive 3 and Dead Or Alive 4 and she's shipping Ayane and Hayate.**

**Cat: And I don't CARE if they're half-siblings. Up to now I've seen MUCH more Dojinshis where SIBLINGS (Kasumi and Hayate)  
do it rather than Hayane.**

They ran through the base.  
Which was a pretty big base for Yuan and Botta and those few Renegades - ok and machines - you kill  
in it.  
What is WITH those long passages?  
Don't they know it's annoying to walk from one side to another and then back because you forgot something?  
Same with every dungeon, though.

Anyway, let's cut to the chase!  
They stopped in the middle of the chase, which was pretty stupid,  
since Desians were SUPPOSED to - ok, ok, RENEGADES - follow them and capture them.  
Since Yuan needed at least Lloyd.  
Which I can sorta agree, as long as he finally loses those stupid Suspenders.  
And takes his pants outta his boots .. and changes his gloves and jacket, too ..  
And MAYBE takes care of those strands of hair in his back.  
In the game they look okay, but in the animation? It looked like somebody had tried to hack  
them apart and suceeded!

"Shut up!! I look hot! I so do!" Lloyd yelled at the ceiling where the voice came from. "You loved me once, too!"

Yeah, cause I was single at that time  
and very sad and depressed - which I still am at times, but not as bad anymore.  
Plus, I don't even REMEMBER what made me fall in love with you.  
Anyway, shut up and fuck Shihna now.

"Don't you dare!" Shihna snapped, apparently hearing the voice, too.

"Dammit!" Lloyd cursed, the voice cursing, too.

Anyway, horray horray Tethe'alla was researching Exspheres and Cruxis Crystals.  
When Refill-

"It's RAINE for crying's sake!"

Whatever! The half-elven teacher said.

"Shihna, is it normal for people from Tethe'alla to wear Exspheres?" she asked.  
"Actually, no."  
"Is it normal for people to wear Exspheres underneath their boobs?" Cat asked. "Or"  
looking over at Refill-Raine, whatever. "on their right thigh in Sylvarant?"  
"Shut up."  
"Meh .." Cat snogged her boyfriend while they still discussed.  
They discussed more.  
"They're actually studying the Chosen's Crystal right now."  
The sound of a plunger being pulled from a sink was heard.  
Michael had resurfaced.  
"God, I hate that Chosen!!"  
"It's 'Godess'."  
"Whatever, Yuan fucked her anyway." Michael said. "I still hate that Chosen .. I hate both Chosens, actually!"  
"Look, all of you shut up." Lloyd sighed, getting a headache. "We going to Tethe'alla now or what?"  
"That never was a point in the discussion."  
"Well, it is now. Are we or not?"

They finally did, Michael giving them written instructions on how to use the Rheairds  
and how to get to them, since he was .... busy.  
They all got onto them - Collet needed her hands adjusted on the bars so she wouldn't fall off - and zoomed down the darkness.  
"This SO reminds me of Death ..!" Cat screeched.

Aaaaand they all crashed onto Fooji Mountain.  
I think they called it Fooji as a Pun for Fuji.  
Wow, I just turned Suzumiya Haruhi's "God Knows" in Speed up by 30 percent and it sounds cool.  
Chipmunk, but cool. I can still sing it - although I can't get that high.  
Ehehe, anyway, they crashed but nobody got hurt - aside from Adrenalin, which ..  
"Whohooooow!" Cat shivered like jelly, sitting on the floor. "Adrenalin! Awesome! Let's do that again!"  
"No. I will deal with your Adrenalin later." Michael said and helped her up.

They saw "ZOMG it's the Tower of Salvation!" Genius gasped, pointing at the Tower in the distance.  
Raine slapped his hand.  
"It's rude to point!"  
"Well, d'uh, of course the Tower is in the Blooming World." Shihna said.  
"Mh, flowers .. hey, thankfully Zelos didn't manage to DEflower you yet."  
Shihna slapped Cat's head.  
"How you even know who Zelos is, I don't wanna know. Unless you're one of his floozies."  
Cat got a scary aura around her.  
"_I do not get intimate with a philanderer!_"  
".. Ok."

So they went downwards.  
"Hm, Tethe'alla really has a low mana level." Genius noticed.  
"Can't be helped. Since you cracked Sylvarant's seals, there's hardly any mana left here-" Shihna started.  
"Hey, Sylvarant has less mana than this!"  
"That's nothing to brag about .." Michael sighed.  
"How come you can tell the mana level, anyhow?" Shihna asked.  
"Cause Sensei and Genius are elves." Lloyd grinned, wondering why Michael and Cat were coughing

in suggestive matters.  
".. How come elves can tell the mana level?"  
"Becauuuseee .." Lloyd started and it went silent. "They're elves!"  
Cue Shihna falling down.  
"Thank the Godess her breasts are big enough for her to land softly."  
"Would you stop being so obvious about it!?" Shihna yelled at her.  
"That's just what you get for being a woman .. with girly parts."  
Shihna got angrier. "At least be more subtle about it."  
"But there's nothing subtle about you!"  
"Booooooobiiiiiies!" Michael grinned in an idiotic-matter.  
"I will so crush you two at some time."  
Cat and Michael grinned even wider. "With your boobies, right?"

The authoress got hit by LittleKuriboh, the original one not the imposters, for using YGO AS quotes.

They got to Meltokyo.  
The authoress was trying to get to Zelos, who would be the third pervert in the round,  
making things much funnier.  
"Well, I gotta go." Shihna announced suddenly.  
Cat burst into tears. "No! I need D-Cups in sight or I'll nag about how small mine are!"  
Michael grabbed her boobs and squeezed them hard, managing to shut her up.  
"How'd you do that?" Lloyd wondered.  
"Experience."  
"Um."  
Shihna sighed and then stepped to Lloyd. "Here." she said and handed him a letter.  
"Whoooow!" Cat wolf whistled.  
"Love letter." Michael grinned.  
Shihna blushed furiously. "I-it's not a love letter!"  
Lloyd sighed heavily. "Eighteen years and I never got a love letter."  
"Stop whining I didn't get one until I was almost eighteen, either." Cat replied.  
"Ditto!"  
"I already got some." Genius smiled.  
Shihna disappeared in a poof mentioning that the letter goes to the King.

They went inside, gasping over the moderness over Sylvarant - it's not REALLY more modern.  
Just higher buildings.  
Cat pushed Collet onwards, tramping all over Rodyle, who was lying on the floor, to keep her

from kicking that dog.  
"I may not like dogs, but I do not like it to see them getting hit." she explained and pushed her,

knocking into a blond girl with curls.  
"W-watch it!" she snapped. "What are you wearing wings for, anyway? Festival week isn't until next!"  
"She must really be stupid."  
"D'uh, she's blond." Cat mentioned.  
".. Hey!"  
"I'm allowed to say it, my mom's blond and I was blond at birth. .. Or blackhaired."  
"Ah, ah, all you sweeties, chill, please!" a .. person .. with long red curly hair said. "You know I don't like it when you fight."  
The person turned to Collet, putting his arm around her.  
"Are you alright, Angel?" he asked, his lips getting closer and closer. "I bet you're really pretty when you smile-ARGH!!"  
Collet had grabbed his arm, swung him over her shoulder and .. he landed safely on his feet instead of falling on his back.  
"Whooo! Angel, you're pretty strong! You sure got my heart beating!"  
"Who are you?" Lloyd asked, getting annoyed. "What do you want? And how did you do that?"  
The person walked past him and Genius muttering "Whatever, you .. people .. say."  
Then the eyes fell on Raine.  
"Ooooooh! GORGEOUS!! What's your name, beautiful?"  
"Instead of asking for someone's name, why don't you tell us yours first?" she answered, smirking.  
"Hey, she stole my line! .. Then again, it sounds arrogant."  
"Perfect, it makes you fit into the role of badass, arrogant, highleveled Lloyd."  
Lloyd had no idea what Cat was talking about.  
"You DON'T know me? Well, I sure have a long way with you." he said and saw Cat. "Who're you, cutie?"  
She didn't speak.  
"You know, it's considered impolite to not answer a question." he told her.  
Instead, she just gave him her version of the Aurion Glare, which made her look murderously crazy.  
The guy backed away from her .. or because Michael was glareing at him more.  
"Zelos-sama!" the blonde curly girl huffed. "We have to GO!"  
"Oh, yes, yes, you're right. I'll see you later, Angel .. Gorgeous and Cutie." he looked at the guys. "And .. you guys .. maybe."  
They left.  
"I HATE BEING CALLED CUTE!!" Cat exploded, looking red in her face.  
"You'll always be cute to me." Michael told her.  
She got quiet.  
"He had an Exsphere on him." Raine explained.  
"So THAT's how he managed to pull himself up." Lloyd understood. "Well, let's get this Non-Love-Letter to the King."

So they went to the castle, being thrown away from it since the King was sick.  
They went to the Church to 'Pray for a quick recovery'.  
"It' useless." Cat hissed. "If he takes enough medication and lays offa alcohol and rests enough, he'll be fine!  
Praying won't help much."  
"Says the girl who doesn't take medication - except Penicillin - when she has a feverish cold." Michael grinned.  
In the church, they met .. a robotic girl.  
Why they always have a girl with pink hair, I do not know.  
Maybe they're trying to make us think that Presea is a REALLY distant ancestor of Arche.  
"Who's Arche?"  
"You'll find out in a later chapter."  
"Okay." Lloyd shrugged his shoulders.

Let's jump over a funny scene where it shows that Genius is a wimpy wuss who can't pick anything up heavier

than his Kendama.  
But it also showed Lloyd in that light .. which was bad.  
"Aren'tcha GLAD Shihna's not here now, seeing you so .. weak?" Michael asked.  
"Can you pick it up?"  
"No, but she can." he pointed to Presea, who sighed silently and picked the thick stump up and carried it one-handed

to the castle portal.  
They were let in by a nifty lie from Presea. Which was .. "It's .. a special day."  
Yeah .. that's why they were let in.  
Inside, they asked Presea if she'd tag along for a while, seeing as leaving her would look suspiscious.  
On the way to the King's Chamber, Presea tugged Cat's sleeve.  
"Excuse me, Cat-san."  
"Yes? Please don't call me Cat-san, it's the name of a german Kitty litter."  
"I'm sorry." Presea pointed to her skirt. "Your skirt is ripped and dirty."  
Cat looked.  
The skirt really was ripped in several places and really dirty - although hard to tell because it was black.  
"Argh, fuck! This was the first thing I bought with my Credit Card and now it's ruined! Fuck, man, fuck!"  
She took it off, wearing the short pants underneath and stuffed it in her wingpack-like bag.  
Presea was slightly surprised by Cat's language, but didn't say anything and didn't look surprised.  
Inside, they got to the chamber by knocking down the guard with some punches.  
And inside was .. "You!?" Lloyd gasped, looking at the red curled guy.  
"Oh, it's you .. and you .. and you." he said, nodding bored to the guys. Then he saw the girls. "And YOU!"  
The princess huffed slightly behind her fan.  
"Btw, King, number one: We have a letter for you." Cat said, nudging Lloyd to hand it over. "Also, you're being poisoned."  
She got thrown into jail for false sayings.  
Michael got her out. "You know .. I WILL have to tell our kids about that."  
"Hey, History repeats itself. My ma was in prison, too. It helped getting a black guy into the White House."  
"You're pretty racist, you know that?" Lloyd asked when they got back.  
"Everyone is."  
"Well, **I **am n-"  
"Shut up and kiss Shihna."  
"Sure, once she's back."  
Michael clicked the recorder. "Ok, I got it."  
"Perfect!"  
Lloyd blushed furiously.

And to the Crimson Room.  
"Look, why wait, they'll just try to kill us, anyway." Cat sighed, sitting at her laptop, typing a story. "Now,  
Lloyd is the Chosen .. so that would make Collet the Heroine?"  
"So, hence, all the traps will be made effectless by her tripping?"  
"Pretty much .."  
A little while later, the Chosen of Tethe'alla - that red haired dude - and the Pope came in.  
"You want to use Tethe'alla's Technology to get the Chosen's Soul back, right?" the Pope asked.  
"Yes."  
"FORK THAT!!" he yelled.  
"Yes, yes, kill Collet. You won't be able to do it anyway." Cat sighed, not interested in seeing how  
Collet was in danger and then killed those people. "Now, Zelos, come with us to make sure we get Collet's soul back."  
"Why should I?"  
Cat looked at him like Puss in Boots from Shrek 2.  
"Plllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"  
"Okay ..!" he agreed, hearts floating around.  
Michael tripped him when they left the room.

At the bridge, they all stopped.  
"Checkt it out, this bridge holds 3000 Exspheres!" Zelos grinned.  
"You fuckass are using 3000 People's lives .. well .. not REALLY lives anymore." Cat sighed.  
"Dwah?"  
So, they took the time to explain about Exspheres to him.  
Because you have enough time in the world if you want to save them and a friend's soul.  
Which is exactly why you can also spend hours on that Minigame in Palmacosta where you look for stuff,

that you can't really find since you can't read the Kanji, but the Kata- and Hiragana just fine.  
And that's why you'll never be able to finish it under a minute, which would get you a Title for Lloyd  
in the PS2 Version!  
"She sure gets angered about something small .." Lloyd sighed.  
Cat sighed, too.

"Anyway, before we go to Sybak by walking 7 screens over a long fuckass bridge, let's use these."  
She got out of her bag eight motorcycles.  
"Everyone who's showing naked skin needs to put something on."  
She handed Presea a pair of leggings, put some on herself and threatened Zelos to put a sweater over his vest.  
"Cause if you don't and you crash, you'll lose about 2 layers of skin just by skidding along the pavement." she said sweetly.  
Everyone got onto a motorcycle .. and rode off.  
Now, wouldn't that have been HANDY in the game?  
Of course, that would've broken the fourth wall, but that would've REALLY showed that Tethe'alla was more modern than Sylvarant.  
It took them 10 minutes instead of an hour to get over the bridge.

"Now, guys, I have to give each and every one of you a nickname." Zelos grinned.  
"What's that all of a sudden?"  
"Collet-chan is Angel - Presea-chan is Chibi-chan! Lloyd is 'You' and Genius is 'Brat. Also, Michael  
is now known as 'Darkhead'. Oh, and Raine is Gorgeous Ultra Cool Beauty!"  
"Please not that."  
"Ehhhhh!?" Zelos gasped. "How about 'Ojou-sama'?"  
"Can't you choose something LESS annoying?"  
"Sensei is Sensei." Lloyd said simply.  
"Sensei? Mh, the gorgeous magical teacher who'll steal your heart .. ehehehe!"  
Raine looked displeased.  
"Ok, how about Refill-senseiiii?" he asked in a sultry voice.  
"First of all it's RAINE. Second of all, no. I had enough of that in Sylvarant."  
"Ah .. btw Cat is-"  
"My nickname is already Cat."  
".. I'll still call you Neko-chan."  
".. Fine. Whatever."  
They got closer to the city.  
Lloyd looked at Michael. "You got your temper pretty well there, just now. I thought you hated it when he flirted  
with Cat?"  
Michael suddenly knocked Zelos down onto his stomach and pulled his head by his hair back.  
"Ok, listen you bastard. No Flirting with Cat, got it!? She's mine! See the finger!?"  
Cat showed Zelos the ring on her finger.  
"So? I had girls who used to be engaged-ow!"  
Michael had grabbed him harder.  
"Now, no flirting with Cat anymore, or I'll cut off your hair."  
"Argh, no, not my hair! It's my whole charm!" Zelos gasped.  
"Good. No flirting with Cat and you get to keep your hair." he let Zelos go and got up. "Also, no flirting with Shihna."  
"Wait, you know Shihna?" Zelos asked surprised. "Where is she?"  
"Went back to Mizuho."  
"Ah, too bad .." He sighed annoyed and got heary eyes. "I would've LOVED to see her curvy body after such a long time!"  
"You're aquaintances, you pervert?" Lloyd asked, fearing that Zelos was the third pervert in their round.  
Which he was.  
"No, no, Lloyd-kun, you got that wrong. We're more than that. We're lovers."  
"WHAT!?" Lloyd jumped a foot. "But .. Shihna said that she was NOT in a relationship."  
"Well, it's not official yet. But she'll be my hunny. All girls are destinied to become my hunnies."  
"Oh, so it's just wishful thinking on your side."  
"It's not!" Zelos snapped at the brunette.  
"Possibility of that saying being true .." Presea calculated. ".. Zero."  
Zelos cried in a corner.  
"Btw, Zelos, I can cheer you up." Michael said. "You may not flirt with Cat nor Shihna, but you may flirt with Collet."  
"Awright!" Zelos jumped up and took Collet's hands in his. "You know, you've got the bluest eyes, baby."  
"...." was Collet's response.

**Cat: Yes, rather fast-forward, but I wanted to get Zelos in the team AND get this on today. Why?  
Cause it's our anniversary.  
Michael: Yay!  
Cat: We can't spend it together .. fucking continental distance .. and on our first anniversary, too!  
Michael: Not to forget out 2nd Valentine's Day as a Couple.  
Cat: Fuck!! -grabs Continents and pushes them back together-  
Michael: There'll be a Valentine Special, she's trying to get it up tomorrow.**


	10. Valentine Speed

**Cat: .. Valentine ..  
Michael: Yes, and we can't spend it together ..  
Cat: ....  
Michael: Honey?  
Cat: ........  
Michael: Oh, your Holiday Depression, huh?  
Cat: ........ yes.  
Michael: We don't own anything - not even each other right now ..**

"I do not like this city .. please, let's leave." Presea said quietly.  
"Sorry, Presea, we have to find out how to get Collet's soul back." Lloyd tried to comfort her. "Once  
we know how we do it, we'll leave."  
"Just slap a Keycrest on her." Cat sighed.  
"Huh? On Collet?"  
"Collet .. Presea .. same person, just spelled wrong." Michael shrugged his shoulders. "Both have  
fake Keycrests on them - get a real one and it'll work."  
"You sure?"  
"As sure as my middle name is Alexander."  
So, instead of going to the Research Academy and listening to a boring explanation,  
resulting in a stupid title for Collet, they just searched for a Keycrest.  
Since you can find whatever you need at a Bazaar in an academic city.  
Seriously.  
"Wow, a Keycrest!"  
Bingo ..  
"How much for that?" Lloyd held the actually useless piece of junk up, which had no other function  
than to keep a jewel from eating your soul.  
"10.000 Gald."  
"You fucking Cocksucker!" Lloyd snapped at him.  
"Wow, Lloyd said the F word .."  
"And the C-sucker word." Cat grinned.  
"Which, by the way .." Michael smirked. "Remember what you told me?"  
".. Holy shit, that's right, I don't have my overbite anymore!" she gasped. ".. do I have to do the other thing  
right away, too?"  
"No."  
She sighed relieved.  
Meanwhile, Lloyd was still .. sorta .. haggling with the guy.  
"Cat, can you get my female counterpart out and make her change his mind?"  
"Laura would never do that. Karen would probably be better - although she'd end up killing him  
with her Glare. .. You should try with Seira."  
"Who?"  
"Nevermind."  
Lloyd rolled his eyes and then glared an Aurion Glare at the guy, who immediately told them to  
take the Crest, free of pay.

Lloyd quickly did .. whatever you have to do with a Keycrest to make it work.  
He stuck it on Collet .. ew, I almost wrote stuck it in Collet ..  
She didn't respond.  
"Maybe you're not good enough at the skills yet, Lloyd."  
Lloyd sighed annoyed. "Way to go for building self-esteem, Lloyd. Maybe we should ask Dirk?"  
"The Who?"  
The Who, the band you know, appeared and played a song of theirs.  
The authoress never listens to them, so she can't give you a title, but maybe she heard  
songs from them before, but never REALLY listened and-  
"Ix-nay on the usic-may!" Lloyd hissed.  
Ok, ok, anyway they explained who Dirk was.  
"So we have to go back to Sylvarant for him - unless you know of a Dwarf in Tethe'alla?"  
"Hmmm .... Nope, don't know one."  
"Then we have to go back to Syl-"  
"But you can't do that!" Zelos gasped. "I was told to NOT let you go back to Sylvarant under  
any circumstances."  
The guards appeared and proclaimed all of them to be traitors - how they knew when  
to appear, no one knows. Why they were there - maybe Zelos knows.  
"Before you stick that needle into me!" Cat snapped getting away from a guard. "I am half-blood,  
because of a heart-disease!"  
And she flashed a Heart-disease Pass into his face that said Mitralklappenprolaps Grad I  
on it.  
"So?"  
"So, my blood will probably be similiar to half-elves." Cat said, SIDE-GLANCING MEANINGFULLY  
to Raine and Genius.  
Aaaand we find out Raine and Genius are half-elves, being taken away for killing  
while the rest was thrown into a prison-basement.  
With a chick whose hands were glued to her glasses .. that must be annoying.

"You're humans .. why do you throw your chance of freedom away, when you have  
the luck of being born with it?" she asked.  
"I didn't do anything." Lloyd snapped annoyed.  
"Do the words 'Iselia Inferno' mean anything to you?" Michael asked.  
"Ok, ok, I admit - so I caused a village to get burned down. And I killed Desians.  
And Renegades. And an old lady - but that was accident, she attacked me first. And an angel.  
And I swore at that idiot just now .. ok, ok, I deserve this."  
"See? Don't you feel better about yourself now?"  
"No."  
The woman, who said her name was Kate, saw Presea.  
"Are you .. Presea!?"  
The girl slapped her hand away, backing into a corner.  
"What a cute face-expression!" Cat sighed.  
"She's scared out of her wits!" Lloyd told her.  
"That's exactly why! The pale face, the wide open eyes, the thin pupils, scrunched up  
eyebrows like she's about to cry ..!"  
"You're sick."  
Meanwhile, Kate was explaining about Presea's non-existent Keycrest.  
"We already mentioned that - making a Keycrest would help." Michael said.  
"You look good with Handcuffs."  
"I know I do." Michael grinned. "Although you prefer them with fur on them-"  
"But not pink fur."  
"Of course not Pink Fur."  
"Altessa?" Zelos asked. "Altessa .... doesn't ring a bell. He's a dwarf?"  
"I just told you that." Kate turned away from them. "But it's not like you're going to get out of here very soon."  
With a poof of smoke, Corrine appeared and .. somehow got them free from handcuffs ..  
That must be one strong bitchy-male-fake-Summon-Spirit to bite through metal.  
Another poof of smoke and SHE appeared.  
"Hey, look! Breasts have arrived!" Cat smiled and got slapped by Shihna with a card.  
"I think I'll leave you behind." she said.  
Zelos glomped Shihna from behind. "Shi-chaaaan!"  
"Ahhhhhh!!" Shihna got into Overlimit and kicked his ass with a 30-Hit-Combo. "Good day to you, too, Zelos."  
"Hi .." he gasped.  
Cat yawned.  
"Let's get this shit over with. Kate, we're gonna fuck off now, but we'll come back to prove that we  
have half-elves to save."  
"I won't let you through."  
"Now, move aside!"  
"Okay." Kate moved aside, showing them a secret passage.

"GetoffGetoffGetoffGetoff!" Shihna hissed to Cat, who had clung to her back  
for the past five minutes, hands on the former's breasts of course.  
"But they're soooooft!"  
"Is THAT why you keep touching them?" Lloyd asked.  
"Yup. Plus a good way to check UST-Level."  
"The what?"  
"UST Level-"  
"Just use this." Michael took something out that looked like a detector and held it towards Lloyd.  
It beeped and showed a number. "Your UST-Level."  
".. Way too high!"  
"It never lies."  
Shihna managed to get Cat off her back.  
"Is she always like that?" Zelos asked about the girl.  
"Pretty much. She seems .. calm, though."  
"What?"  
"Calmer than before."

Let's get over this stuff to the Valentine Part ....  
To the bridge, where they got the motorcycles out again.  
"Shihna-chan!"  
"Stay away from me!" Shihna snapped at Cat.  
"She was going to tell you that you have to put something over your enormously large bust."  
".. Oh."  
Suddenly, Lloyd took his suspenders off - in the distance the Halleluja was played.  
Then his jacket - the Halleluja went louder.  
And his black tanktop - The music was so loud everyone become teporarily deaf.  
"Whow, Lloyd!" Cat cheered, eating popcorn.  
"Yeah, yeah, check the Fanservice, bitches." he said and gave Shihna his tanktop,  
putting the stuff back on - the Halleluja stopped suddenly.  
With thanks, Shihna put it on.  
".. 'Surprised, yet slightly feeling chilled at his sudden attention, she put the piece of  
clothing on. It still had his warmth and smell on it. It made her feel like one with him'."  
"What?"  
"You're right, Lloyd, that sounded stupid." Cat sighed. "Hmm, how to write that .. hmm ..  
That'll be braincandy for a night."  
They got on the motorcycles and started to ride like the devil  
and got to the part where the bridge was starting to get pulled up.  
"Why are they pulling it up, if they think we're still imprisoned!?" Shihna yelled.  
"Game-Logic!" Michael yelled back.

At this point, the authoress remembers that they didn't form a pact with Undine ..  
which'll fuck up the rest of the story ..  
Unless!

"I suddenly know how to summon Undine!" Shihna yelled and they sped up,  
up the bridge and over the gap, using Undine's help to land safely, with the cycles,  
on the other side.  
They killed the guards and rescued Raine and Genius.  
"Hey, where's Cat?"  
They looked around.  
"Oh no! She fell into the water! I'm coming after yoouuuuu-Urgh!" Michael yelled, diving  
for the banister, but got caught by Collet's hand. "Urgh, Choking .. Me!"  
Collet let him go then pointed to the other side of the bridge.  
"Yeah .. I'm still over here .. Sorry."  
"Why didn't you speed up?"  
"Well, for one I was too fucking scared, Leon-I mean Lloyd!" she yelled over, sitting on the banister.  
"Who's Leon?"  
"Whatever."  
"I mean, I dream often enough of falling from a huge height into water, I don't need to do that  
in reality - number two, my fuel was empty."  
"Oh .."  
"So, sweety, you're okay?" Michael asked.  
"Yup. I'm kinda glad I'm over here, I'll miss Colloyd."  
"You'll also miss Yuan."  
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!"  
"Also, you'll miss Kratos."  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

They left her, hvaing to drag Michael along - Cat reassured that she'd find a way over,  
and went for the Fooji Mountain again.  
Because Zelos told them to.  
And that's what people do when Zelos tells them do to. They do it.  
.. Usually.

Aaaaaaaaaaand we get away from the Colloyd, because if I start writing it now - seeing as it's  
11:20 Pm for me on Valentine and I'm depressed and horny and my Bf isn't here to fuck me raw,  
I'd make it sound really really fluffy cute Colloyd - the kind that makes me puke.  
So, let's get this thing fast away.

Collet got soul back.  
She snobbed Pronema - who Michael REFUSED to look at.  
And they severly hurt Pronema.  
Btw, it's actually PronEma, but was turned to PronYma, because in english  
you pronounce E as an I - you know, that sound. In german, it's supposed to be PronEEEma.  
Otherwise, it'd be callled PronEIma.  
But you don't care about german language.  
And Kratos appeared and talked with Lloyd ..  
"Hang on, Kratos!" Michael stopped him. "Before you leave, I gotta take a picture."  
"For the girl?"  
"Yeah. Fangirl-Being and all." he explained and Kratos posed, Michael getting a picture. "I'd better  
get copies of this - this'll bring it MILLIONS of money!"

And they went to Meltokyo Sewers where ..  
"Honeypie!!" Cat glomped Michael ALMOST into the water.  
"Horray, she's back." Zelos said. "More female meat for me-Or not."  
Michael aimed his gun at Zelos. "She's all yours, Darkhead."  
They continued to make out.  
"Um .."  
"Hello?"  
"It's great that you're back, Cat!" Collet clapped and the two instantly broke apart.  
"Ew .. That got me unhorny .."  
"Horrifying. The voice .."  
"In Japanese she's cute but english .."  
"Plain annoying."  
They went into the sewer.  
"How did you get over here, anyway?"  
"I .. just did."  
They all were quiet.  
"I hate continuity."  
Through the Sewer - which Collet asked "Why do you often come home so late, Zelos?"  
"I'll show you later."  
"Ok!"  
And - "I will NOT touch those Garbageblocks!"  
"Stop being such a whiner and do it!" Lloyd called from underneath. "We need them to get out."  
"Hang on .." Cat sighed and put some latex gloves on, the kind doctors and people from the CSI wear.  
She pushed the blocks down. "Ew, I think I just touched raw meat!"

They were almost outside when Regal jumped onto Zelos' back.  
"OW!"  
"Don't move - otherwise the Chosen dies."  
"Do that again!" Cat cheered.  
"Pardon?"  
"Jump on his back again, stomp him into the ground!"  
"Sweety." Michael showed her the recording he did and he pressed the replay button.  
In the video, Regal stomped onto Zelos' back again.  
And again.  
And again.  
She was busy for the next five minutes while they all talked.  
".. _Fireball!_" Genius shot them at Regal, who dodged, freeing Zelos.  
"I .. I'm saved ..!" he sighed, falling into Lloyd's arms.  
".. Get off. I'm not Shihna."  
"Seriously not. You have no chest at all."  
"I'm not SUPPOSED to have a chest!!" Lloyd yelled and kicked Zelos into the Sewerwater.  
Collet helped him out, ending up falling in herself to him.  
They managed to get out somehow.

And .. after a talk with people at the Institute-hang on was that the time to go there?

..  
Yes it was.  
They talked and said "The EC will be ready in a week."  
"Why that long?"  
"Because we're half-elves."  
"Huh?"  
"Look, this whole fucked up shit is because of racism towards half-elves." Cat explained. "Seeing  
as they think that half-elves are the last dirtiest shit, they won't take care of their requests until last minute."  
"That's disgusting!"  
"That's racism." Michael shrugged his shoulders.  
"We have to stop it!" Lloyd said.  
"That's what we're going to do."  
And Zelos told them to go to his house.  
"The big house in upper-east Meltokyo, you can't miss it."  
"There are a LOT of big houses there."

They got to his house - the butler greeted them.  
"Good day to you, Sir. A knight was here to tell me that if you appear, I should bring you to  
the castle, on behalf of a request of the 18th King of Tethe'alla."  
"You can ignore that order, Sebastian."  
"Very well, Sir." he said and saw the others. "And who are your companions?"  
"These are my Hunnies!"  
"Very well, Sir. If any of you Hunny-sans needs anything, feel free to say so."  
"Our names are not Hunny .." Lloyd muttered.  
"Better than Amigo, I think."  
"Let me give you the Tour!" Zelos showed them around. "The big kitchen, the swimming pool in the back,  
there are 10 bathrooms down that hall and these-"  
he stopped in front of a row of doors. "Are the-"  
"Lemme guess. The 'Lovenaziums'." Cat said.  
"No. The-"  
"Censorship-Rooms?" Michael suggested.  
".. No. The-"  
"I know! They're the" Cat said and grabbed Michael's collar, looking seductive - how she did that,  
she had no idea since she didn't see herself as being sexy at all. "If we're in here, baby, time will stand still!-Rooms, right?"  
".... No. Just the bedrooms."  
"Oh."  
"Who **cares** what they're called, let's _fuck_, she got me horny!" Michael sighed.

Anyway, they ate lunch and afterwards Cat suddenly jumped up from the floor, looking horror-stricken.  
"Panic attack about Death, hon?"  
"It's our anniversary!"  
".. Yes it is."  
She handed Michael a piece of paper.  
".. Paper?" Lloyd asked.  
"1st anniversary is paper. 3rd is Cotton .. Rest I don't know. Wait, 20th is pearls."  
Michael looked at the paper.  
"Whohoo a sketch of us making out!" he cheered and handed her one, too.  
"A what sketch?"  
"A sketch of us making out - she loves drawing that. She used to do it all the time  
when we weren't able to do it."  
Cat hugged him. "Loveletter!"

Next day .. btw, yes Cat and Michael had sex .. several times that night.  
(In Reality, Michael is jumping up and down in his chair now, getting weird looks from his family - ok, ok,  
he's not jumping up and down)  
The girls .. had barricaded themselves into the Kitchen.  
"Goooood Moooorning, Hun-where're the girls?" Zelos asked when he got out of his room.  
"Making chocolate."  
"Yeah, Valentine's Day after all. Whohoo, my favorite day!"  
There was screeching from inside the Kitchen.  
"You burned your hand!"  
"Oh, you're right. It hurts .. a bit .." the sound of running water.  
"Sensei, where does the flour g-Oh!"  
A person tripping and a metal clanging.  
"You burned your hand again!!" Shihna yelled very audiable.

**Cat earned the title: Accident-Prone: "Watch out for your patty-paws!"**

The door suddenly flew open, something was flung out and someone jumped after it,  
doing awesome Ninja-Moves in the air before catching ....  
A burnt cake on a pink plate.  
"Dammit!" Cat hissed and went back inside with more Ninja-Moves. "Less heat, girls!"  
"I told you that-No, Raine, no Chicken into the Cake!"  
"It would make a great flavor."  
"Next year."  
"Alright."

A few hours later, the girls were standing in line, holding cakes.  
Shihna's was a New Fudge Cake with white frosting, Collet's strawberry-cream millefeulle.  
Raine's was an interesting mint-green with cherries on top.  
Presea - who had gotten a Keycrest from Cat, who got it from .. somewhere - made  
a Black Midnight Cake.  
Cat's was crips around the edges .. she looked down.  
"How come you can do cakes so well, Shihna?"  
"Had a lotta practice."  
Michael took Cat's cake and took a big bite. ".. Tastes good."  
"You don't have to spare my feelings .."  
"But it's good. Too crunchy the edges, but the middle is a great moist, chewy bunch."  
Raine forced Lloyd to have some - which turned out well.  
"She's a good cook - once you get her away from experimenting TOO Much." Shihna sighed,  
giving Zelos a slice as well as Lloyd. "Sign of Friendship."  
So, every guy got a slice of Cake from everyone - Cat finally handed around Cookies  
she made, which were much better - she was better at making cookies than Cake.  
And Valentine's Day was good - even better at night ..  
At least for two people.

**Cat: Done!  
Michael: 11:58 pm - hurry up!  
Cat: Okay! Btw, the next chapter is going to be all happening in Zelos' house,  
a lot of stuff happens there.  
Michael: You're turbo-typing.  
Cat: I know, it's my best thing - I always got As in Tech because I was the fastest  
typer.  
Michael: Reviews?**


	11. A very happy Birthday

**Cat: And another chapter. I realized when I made Collet talk last chapter, I  
ruined a little thing I wanted to do .. I'll conclude it in a Missing Scenes Chapter.  
Michael: You're tired, why do you keep staying up past 2 am?  
Cat: My rythm. Blame those bastards who won't give me a job.  
Michael: You were just too intelligent for McD. We own nothing.  
Cat: Martel works at my gas station!!**

Past Valentine, they had to stay in Zelos' house for a week until they got the EC.  
Cat was, surprisingly, at her laptop at a table, typing.  
Then she suddenly stopped.  
"Won't .. type ..!" she cracked her fingers.  
"What's wrong, sweety?" Michael sat behind her. "ZomG, what are you writing!?"  
"I'm writing .. Colloyd. My fingers won't continue to type."  
Lloyd looked over, reading a sportsmagazine that was lying around. "Why not?"  
"It's Colloyd."  
"Which you are making M-Rated! Hello?" Michael gripped her shoulders. "Cat? Where are you?  
What have you done to her!? Where is my L-"  
Cat quickly shut him up. "Ix-nay on my real ame-nay!"  
"You are making me and Collet do It?" Lloyd asked, sighing heavily. "Do you make me sleep with every woman?"  
"No. Usually just Shihna - here with Collet .. Must. Continue .. Ty..ping!!"  
Michael sighed.  
"You know you can't. It's _Collet_ doing Lloyd. Now, if it were a CERTAIN blackhead with

big boobs, it'd be easier for you."  
Cat suddenly laughed.  
"What?"  
"I just had to think of "I's" volume .. 9 or 10. Where Itchitaka tells Izumi to get off,  
although his hands are on her butt." she stiffled a laugh. "No, mustn't use that! It would ruin the whole  
atmosphere! Kihihi!"  
"You're weird."

A few minutes later, Cat finally managed to continue typing.  
"Hmm .. Ah! Wait, .. no .. or? Hmm .." she muttered, making the specific faces for it. "I CAN imagine it,  
so I should be able to write it. And it DOES look good in my head .. even if it's an adult Collet - something  
I usually CAN'T imagine."  
"She's being poisoned very slowly .."  
"Hey, Collet, imagine for a sec-wait I can't say it out loud .."  
The girl looked like she was about to barf.  
"Hmm .. hon, what would a girl like her say - stuttering incomprehensively - before the First Time?"  
"What you said." Michael said, shot out of a pistol.  
Cat put her head to the side. ".. What did I say?"  
"You don't remember?"  
".... No." Cat sighed, taking her glasses off and putting her face into her hands. "Ok .. Let's see ..  
Collet and Lloyd are halfway sitting - halfway lying on the bed .. why is Lloyd's shirt so damn bright and white?"  
"Your story - your imagination." Lloyd muttered.  
"Whatever. Mh .. Argh, I'm getting a pimple on my forehead! .. Breaking kiss off .. and ..  
stare into each other's misty eyes .. then .. uh .."  
Michael looked pale. "I'm not listening, I'll just substitute Collet for Shihna in my head .. or rather,  
just make it into us."  
Cat sighed.  
"Maybe she just says .. 'I' .. it would be weird if she suddenly told him to use a condom, right?"  
Lloyd fell out of his chair. "WHAT!?"  
"Exactly, it ruins atmosphere." Cat continued to type. "Undressing .. argh, my fingers refuse to type! I need music!"  
She turned on Wakatteita Hazu from Fushigi Yuugi.  
".. Better." she suddenly sighed dreamly and looked into the distance with misty eyes, hands clapped together.  
".. Hon?" Michael waved a hand in front of her face. "Oh no, she's being sucked into her imagination again."  
Lloyd frowned. "What?"  
"Look!"  
Cat started to drool slightly.  
"She's drooling at the imagination of you and Collet having foreplay!"  
Lloyd paled and fainted.  
"I have to get her out of it alone .. um .. hm .. Kratos is doing Anna, her on top!!"  
Cat snapped and giggled suddenly, blushing.  
"Man that scene will be great once I write it .. mhhh, torturing Kratos with sex .. Awesome, Anna, Awesome."  
"Does Kratos say that?"  
"What? Awesome? No, that's me. Kratos BEGS her to untie him. Ohohohoho-.. damn, I got myself horny."  
Michael laughed.

"Oh, btw." he took the pic he took from Kratos last chapter out of his pocket and handed it to her. "For you."  
Cat looked at it.  
".. And now I have a boner."

.... sorry for the visual, hon.

And lots of other stuff happened during the week-wait in Zelos' house.  
For one, there was White Day.  
Lloyd gave Collet .. a puppy.  
A wooden one.  
"Horray, I've got a german Sheperd-"  
"It's.. it's a Colley, Collet." Lloyd corrected her.  
"Oh. Whatever I still love it!"  
Then Lloyd stepped to Raine (or Refill) and gave her a stack of paper.  
She looked at them and got starry eyes.  
"WONDERFUL, Lloyd!"  
"What's wrong?"  
"He got full points on this excercise paper! A greater gift he could not have given me!" she sighed happily, like she does when they talked about Ruins.  
Which was never.  
And Shihna got - a pair of Amethyst earrings.  
"See, I know that the pendant parts might be annoying while fighting - so I made sure that you can take them off and only have the earpieces." he explained.  
"Clever."  
Cat agreed and got a faceful of flowers.  
"Happy Val-I-I mean White Day, hon." Mikey said and smiled widely.  
Cat stared in shock at the flowers - totally speechless.  
"Ahhh, she's happy. Guess what?"  
"Mh?"  
"Love you."  
Cat got really red - and finally fainted, just as Zelos was glomping Shihna.  
"Heeeeeeeey there, Sweetcheeks."  
"Zelos .. get off."  
Zelos let go and grinned. He was wearing nothing but black speedos.  
"My White Day gift to you - and the other girls - is .. ME! Happy White Day!"  
Mikey's eye twitched. "I am SO glad my kitty is unconscious - this would finish her off."  
Cat regained consciousness, saw Zelos' backside in the speedo - and fainted again.

After the week was over, they went back to the elemental research and asked for the EC.  
"Kuchinawa has it." the scholar answered and got choked by Cat.  
"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd!"  
"Wh-what?"  
"He's a cheater! A betraying cheater!" she yelled and let go, running to the bridge.  
They followed and came there.  
Cat was lying on the floor, breathing heavily.  
"My heart.. can't take that.."  
"Hon, do something - like volleyball. You like volleyball, right? That's why you got Dead Or Alive Xtreme 2." Mikey told her.  
"Well .. I got it .. for a vacation - and to collect things."  
"Could you two get a move on?" Shihna asked and watched Lloyd being a pickpocket and open the locked gate.  
They all stared.  
"Do you have a juvi-record?"  
"Well, I did feel this Quest-Urge to do a B&N."  
Collet gasped happily. "Bacon & Eggs?"  
Cat "Mmh"-ed although she was a vegetarian.  
But she liked the bacon completely burned.  
"Breaking & Entering, Collet. Remember? We broke into the Mayor's house and stole some shit."  
"Wait, no, you just kicked the door in."  
"Yeah that was fun .. although you were annoying."

FLASHBACK TIME!!

Lloyd and Collet were up in the early dawn - which was very unusual for Lloyd, even while he was 11.  
Breaking and Entering into the school was boring since nobody was there.  
So, they chose to do it with the Mayor's house - because he was a large man who wouldn't wake up when some dog would start  
chewing off his ear.  
Lloyd was crouching at the door.  
"Okay, Collet, I'll do it."  
Collet waved her arms. "W-wait, Lloyd. Wait. Dude, I hear a rheaird!"  
".... yeah, there are several of them in this world. If you hear a Maniacal-Laugh-Done-By-A-Shemale tell me that shit, that's weird."  
He got ready to kick .. and Collet's last resort to stopping him was breathing loudly in a disapproving matter.  
".. I have no idea what you're saying, but I'm doing it." Lloyd said - and Kicked the door in!  
It FLEW into the Darkness!  
"Whow! That was FUN!" Lloyd cheered and kicked a closet door in. "Awesome - hey, Collet, let's steal the door!"  
So they each grabbed an end of the door and carried it sideways away - until Collet tripped.

BACK TO THE PRESENT!!

"Hehe .. Dane Cook References." Cat sniggered.  
"Oh but it was really fun, Cat-san." Collet said and smiled her usual smile. "It was barely dark anymore when I stumbled  
and the villagers-"  
"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd!!" Mikey growled.  
".. Wh-what?" Collet asked.  
"Nothing."  
"No, really, what?" Collet asked and became persistently annoying, like Martha in the Ratatosk Spoof.  
"I said it to make you shut up."  
".. I don't get it."  
"Urgh, I'm getting a migraine .." Mikey sighed and held his head while they went down to the pier to greet Kuchinawa.

"Hi." Kuchinawa greeted and held his hand high.  
Cat cuffed his hands. "You have the right to remain silent - you have the right to soil yourself - you do NOT have the right  
to betray Shihna's heart, Bitch."  
"What?"  
Kuchinawa's face was completely thrust to the floor and therefore pretty much invisible.  
"OH MY MARTEL, thoughts of Cube of Beauty in my head!!"  
Lloyd frowned.  
"Where else would you have the thoughts? In your a-"  
"What's so bad about Cube of Beauty?"  
Genius sighed. "Aside from the fact that the second chapter is incest between me and my sister-"  
"Shihna is banged by and orally and mammary-glandly pleasing Kuchinawa - who is not visible at all. The only part visible is ..  
y'know, the part you need for all of that." Mikey explained.  
".. I don't get it."  
"Says the girl who'll get 210 Points on the Palmacosta Test." he sighed.

Kuchinawa got fed up, poofed away to reappear a second later and gave them the EC.  
"I still can't believe something that BIG would fit into this tiny thing." Lloyd said, looking at the Wingpack.  
"Y'll be surprised to see what fits into a v-"  
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!" Lloyd yelled, getting red.  
"I SAID-"  
Lloyd shoved Cat into the water.  
They finally got into the EC and Shihna got Undine out, charging the EC.  
Wait ..  
How can she do that? Doesn't Undine specific in the Sylvarant Mana? It may be flowing in Tethe'alla,  
but it should be impossible to .. forget it, my mind is going to far.  
Anyway, they were crossing a 3 second ride over to the other side of the Bridge and went to Sybak.

"HOT STUFF!" Cat sighed seeing Kratos - in the Cruxis Outfit. "You are DEFINITELY an M."  
Kratos merely blinked, checked the script and went with it.  
"I'll never take this off - it's a Birthdaypresent from Lloyd." Collet said in a soppey way.  
"Foolish humans with foolish emotions .. like me 18 yrs ago .."  
"What?"  
"Nothing."  
Mikey sighed. "Y'know, hon, if I weren't bi and wouldn't think that Kratos is majorly hot, I'd be jealous."  
"Yay!"  
"Just don't overdo it."  
"Oh .."  
They went back to Kate and listened to a lie.  
"We have to take Presea to a Dwarf-"  
"Lloyd, I gave Presea a keycrest already."  
"O-oh .. um .. what .. to do now?"  
Cat took the game-walkthrough. "Um .. yes, Collet is about to be kidnapped."  
"No, I'm no-"  
"NERD!!"  
".. What?"  
Cat pointed to Rodyle who poofed appeared, grabbed Collet and disappeared again.  
.. that was anti-climatic.

Walking through the Gaoracchia Forest they all were starting to get lost, but ignored Zelos'  
Ghoststory.  
"We should get Regal any moment-"  
"Hi."  
Cat gasped and saw Regal standing in front of her.  
"I got bored in the tree - I decided to decide to join you now." he said tonelessly. "As long as I may talk with Presea."  
"Go ahead."  
"Jolly good."  
Closer and closer they got to the two exits.  
"Let's see, we should go to Mizuho and you and Shihna will have A Moment with each other where you'll persuade her  
to face Volt-"  
"Lloyd" Mikey whispered and held a tiny flask up. "put this into your mouth, kiss her and transfer it to her. And Bon Appetit!"  
"-and Corrine will die, we'll get the Rheairds after seeing Yuan and have a Colloyd Moment-OH GOD!!"  
Cat went into a corner and threw up into a bush.  
"She's been like this ever since the 4th OVA Episode .. although she writes it." Mikey sighed. "That reminds me!"  
He cuddled Cat hard.  
"Happy Birthday, Honey!"  
".... Oh yeah, it's my birthday!" Cat gasped.  
"Seriously, honey, do something about your horrible memory."  
They all congratulated.  
"How old are you now, Cat?" Presea asked in her ultra-cute Kuwashima voice.  
"19!"  
Lloyd gasped. "You're Shihna's age!?"

**Mikey: A fast written end and - wait Martel works at your gas station?  
Cat: Totally! Her nametag says Martel on it. I swear! Man, that was WEIRD.  
Mikey: Yes .. Happy Birthday anyway.  
Cat: Y'know, I bought nice pants and paid with a Card, all nice ..  
Michael: Five hours later the machine eats your card.  
Cat: Yeah .. apparently my account hasn't existed for a month - how could I pay with card then?  
Michael: It's funny.  
Cat: NO IT'S NOT!  
Michael: Calm down - go and fill the tub with your tears and have a bath.  
Cat: Kay ..**


End file.
